TimothyG FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Smooshy-brain-math guy

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from Saskatoon, SK

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    • Netflix's Spectral is Bullshit Within the First Five Minutes (Spoiler Alert)

      2 years ago

      TimothyG Smooshy-brain-math guy

      Ok let's pretend that you can get over the opening sequence wherein Delta Force buddy's HUD sees a shadow and has too much RAM tied up in displaying the audio waveform at the bottom of the display to run the facial-recognition sequence on the ghost that kills him, especially because later the damn thing can pick up motion signatures. Also pretend that facial recog also isn't the first thing the military does to confirm the existence of ghosts. BUT that's ten minutes in. Let's go back to what our hero Homenugget does in his introductory shot.

      Homenugget handbombs a cubic foot of ice onto an aluminum shelf.

      Homenugget uses a standard vernier dial to line up his lenses AND THEN DOESN'T RUN A TEST BEAM THROUGH IT TO CHECK THE CALIBRATION BUT WHATEVER.

      Homenugget fires up what we can only assume is a finite energy source cuz IT'S PLUGGED INTO THE FECKIN WALL.

      ... and the chunk of ice is INSTANTLY LIQUIFIED.

      I nearly shat my pants. Like, I actually had to stand up and check. Almost as badly as what the fictional ERB for that lab would've if some suit had been like "well test it on animals" and Homenugget's boss agreed without a second thought. Maybe DARPA doesn't have one. Fuck it, I don't know your rules. Anyways, not the point.

      The thing is that the temperature field in any material can be expressed as a solution (or approximate solution) to a set of governing partial differential equations that depend on boundary conditions (temperatures and heat losses at all points along the surface of the ice), the density of the material (ice), and a property called thermal conductivity which dictates the rate at which heat can actually pass through a material. How this temperature field changes when exposed to a heat source is highly dependent on time as well unless you're operating at what we call "steady state" or balance between the heat input to the system and the system's heat losses. Generally we think about steady-state as static and unchanging. Given the sudden, dynamic, and oh-so-very dramatic way that the ice turns into water we can safely say that this is a highly temporal problem.

      Except... not the way it's shown in the movie. You see, the melting of ice involves a very special solution to the above-mentioned PDEs called the Free Boundary Problem because melting involves materials in two phases (solid and liquid), and requires some of the energy in that system to go into latent heat to actually cause the phase change. Because thermal conductivity is a thing, you can't actually liquify something all at once with a finite amount of heat - you would have to conduct sufficient heat to overcome latent heat while simultaneously providing the same amount of heat to the next little bit of material, and so on and so on throughout the body all at the same time.

      The "sufficient heat" here is literally infinity. Given how we already said Homenugget plugged this thing into the wall, the guys running the local nuclear power plant might have a thing or two to say about that.

      There is always the option that Homenugget's government-funded weapon of mass destruction creates such a great heat source that the time it takes for latent heat absorption and diffusion through the material is so little that we couldn't perceive it. This is why the aluminum frame is suddenly of interest - if you're suddenly and violently creating a point source that is basically a tiny sun in your lab, you're probably not gonna do it on a brushed metal bookshelf you bought at the local Ikea. You sure as fuck aren't gonna do it while you flounce around in a v-neck T-shirt behind exactly zero permanent heat shield. Having a tan is great. Instantaneous destruction of your skin and the underlying tissue by means of a semi-infinite amount of radiant heat is not. That's to say nothing about the concussive shock likely to occur from the rapid expansion of the air around the ice due to the presence of this same heat source.

      Long story short, Homenugget's plasma gun is bullshit. I love a good action flick as much as most (Christopher Nolan basically inspired my thesis project) and I thoroughly enjoyed the rest of the movie, but this one really ground my gears. Don't blame me, blame the laws of thermodynamics.

    • PROVEN: Donald Trump is Bryan Cox in Disguise

      2 years ago

      TimothyG Smooshy-brain-math guy

      The following is a Facebook post I made because I live in the Alabama of Canada and I'm tired of hearing my neighbours argue that "Trump has a few things right." So, naturally, instead of engaging with people in rational discussion I chose to bait them mercilessly with a pseudo-academic discussion about a candidate in a political system I know sweet-dick-all about.

      Posted here for the amusement of anyone passing by.

      Boom. I've done it. Pencils down, folks, Tim has beat you to the punch.

      Lots of people on the internet have been desperately searching for some hint, some sign, that Donald Trump's campaign is a cleverly-constructed joke. Well guess what, I've done it - and the man we've been watching all along HASN'T EVEN BEEN DONALD HIMSELF.

      You see, faux-Donald just tipped his hand in his speech this afternoon when he mentioned that refugee immigration to the US could be "the all-time great Trojan horse." Isn't that reference a little deep for the "everyman" you're trying to reach, Mr. Trump? Of course it is - because it's an Easter egg for everyone watching to see who is smart enough to see through the charade.

      You see it yet? The original Trojan horse was actually implemented by the supposed "good guys" and is usually attributed to Odysseus to help Greek listeners understand how plucky and smart and brave he was. HOWEVER that is not at all who faux-Donald wants us to think he is, as evidenced by his entire campaign to date. INSTEAD faux-Donald wants us to think about the leader who lead the Greeks in their attack on Troy, because that was one of the most nutty, manipulative fuckers ever to walk the face of the Earth - Agamemnon.

      Much like faux-Donald, Agamemnon really really really wanted to rule everything he could lay his tiny hands on, and to do that he needed to find a good way to unify Greeks (read: Americans) against a common enemy. He found that excuse when his sister-in-law took a vacation to Troy Ashley-Madison style, and basically straw-manned the Trojans until every one of his friends would go off and die on the shores of Troy just to have a chance to swing a sword at Hector's shadow. Sound familiar to anyone watching Donald's campaign?

      Now here's where it gets tricky - obviously Agamemnon is dead. So who would a) relate so closely to Agamemnon as to play his role on the grandest stage, and b) has the skill to stand in for Donald in this arena? Well, it's the modern face of Agamemnon himself:


      At first I didn't believe it myself, but then I Google'd the two and started looking at them side-by-side. Mr. Cox is a widely accomplished actor, but even he is bound to repeat a few expressions when playing such similar characters.


      There you have it, folks. Donald Trump is being impersonated by Brian Cox, who is desperate to live once more such a great, insane character as Agamemnon. Well played, Mr. Cox. Well played.

      TL;DR Brian Cox is Donald Trump because Greek mythology says so.

    • 2 years ago

      TimothyG Smooshy-brain-math guy
    • I Did a Thing... Sort Of.

      2 years ago

      TimothyG Smooshy-brain-math guy

      Live in Saskatoon? Like the fusion of art and technology? Boy do we have a blog for you!

      Check out the latest from the University of Saskatchewan's S(TEAM)^2 student initiative.

    • 1.6% is a BFD

      2 years ago

      TimothyG Smooshy-brain-math guy

      So I live in a part of Canada where you can have a healthy debate with the people in your neighborhood about how "it isn't technically illegal to marry your cousin" (you think I joke - I've had this debate over the merits of "keeping it in the family" exactly 3 times this month). As a result we seem to elect governments that rail against little things like environmental protectionism and the evils of the gay agenda (seriously, I'm not kidding, Google a guy named Brad Trost). The latest push from these assclowns is that we should resist federal legislation of carbon tax because Canada only produces 1.6% of world GHG emissions. Setting aside that this is 3 times our population in comparison to the rest of the world because we do in fact generate a large amount of those gases through industry that gives bread, fertilizer, and power-grade uranium to the rest of the world, it seems a little weird to write our GHG production off because we're not as bad as China.

      That all being said, and nobody really giving a crap about the politics of a little flyover province of 1 million souls, I have compiled the following list of things that would greatly affect the world if there were 1.6% more of them. Enjoy.

      1. An additional 1.6% in interest rates could cripple a consumer economy overnight.

      2. 1.6% more room in your cardboard box could get you stabbed if we all got evicted because of high interest rates.

      3. 1.6% more exposure gamma radiation could give you super powers. Not cool superpowers like the Hulk, but lame super powers like the ability to teleport paperclips. It could also give you dick cancer.

      4. 1.6% more people reading this blog would, by the rules of multiplication, increase its readership to 0 people.

      5. You might not physically notice a 1.6% weight increase in an elephant if it was sitting on your cheat,  but you would certainly resent it if someone told you.

      6. A 1.6% increase in your repeated exposure to mercury could give you tumors in your brain and turn you into a blubbering maniac. This would qualify you to run for Premier as the leader of the Saskatchewan Party.

      7. A 1.6% decrease in your hair thickness would be just noticeable enough for you to look old and sad.

      8. 1.6% more cowbell could ruin Blue Oyster Cult.

      9. 1.6% is my approximage chance of making it to the season 4 premier of RWBY without having an aneurysm from trying to figure out what happens next.

      10. On a related note, 1.6% are roughly the odds that I'll be able to convice my girlfriend to cosplay as Professor Goodwitch for the season 3 showing here in Saskatoon. I guess we'll just go as Ozpin and an extremely cranky brunette.

      11. If 1.6% of zookeepers were shitty marksmen, Harambe might have stood a fighting chance.

      12. 1.6% -> a gross overestimate of the number of people on the Internet coming up with Harambe jokes as new and fresh as that one. You're welcome.

      13. Multiply 1.6% by par for the course and leave no one with any doubts about whether or not you cheat at golf.

      14. If 1.6% OF people (cheers, DiMono) committed murders, that would equate to 4200 people being murdered a year in my hometown alone.

      15. If 1.6% of people had supported heliocentricity, Galileo would've had some excommunicated friends to write his next books with. 

      16. 1.6% of the reason I wrote this post is sheer exhaustion. I am fucking delirious right now.

    • Halo Campaign Drinking Games?

      in Forums > Halo Campaign Drinking Games? | Follow this topic

      TimothyG Smooshy-brain-math guy

      My friend just had his birthday and he's a real private kind of guy, not much of a party animal, so instead of spending the whole time at the bar we decided to go for a nostalgia trip: three of us stocked up on Mountain Dew Red, set up the old console, and hammered out the whole Halo 3 campaign on Legendary in a single sitting. We didn't really do it to see how good we are at gaming or anything (took us a little over 4 hours, we must be getting old) but we definitely had a blast.

      Thing is, now we're hooked. We're definitely gearing up to go back and do the same thing for the first two games, and maybe even the whole franchise. We're looking for an excuse and figured we should just combine it with our regular drinking time (it's what we did with DnD and it's working out for us so far). Just wondering if anyone has some good rules other than the classic "drink every time you die". Thanks in advance for the help!

      4 replies

    • 2 years ago

      TimothyG Smooshy-brain-math guy
    • 2 years ago

      TimothyG Smooshy-brain-math guy
    • Justice for StarFox Zero! Justice, I say!

      2 years ago

      TimothyG Smooshy-brain-math guy

      I'm still getting used to this website (I just went through and followed my shows today - it takes me some time to get going) but I thought the rant I'm about to deliver would look weird on my Facebook feed among the pregnancy announcements and casual racism from my friends, family, and however-I-should-best-refer-to people I went to high school with and pray a little every night never to see again.

      I am fucking head over heels for StarFox Zero.

      "But why?" you may ask, "the reviews are so mixed! The game is just like the one from '97! I'm a PC-elitist who thinks that the Wii-U is the Kim Kardashian of the gaming world!"

      Yes, the reviews for StarFox are not great. Yes, the control system is not as simple as jets in Battlefield. Yes, you HAVE to use the motion pad if you want to hit anything. Yes, it is a scrolling space shooter that has less plot depth than the dungeon escape from the beginning of Oblivion. And yes, I am relatively new to the world of publishing game reviews online (hint: this is #1). But you know what I know pretty well? Flying shit.

      I'm a casual drone pilot. I have a bachelor's degree in Mechanical Engineering, over the course of which I spent two years as an analyst, designer, draftsman, and (eventually and mostly against my will) technical director for the University of Saskatchewan Aerodesign team. I cut my teeth in my profession surrounded by pilots and aircraft nuts, and let me tell ya what - if flying even the 50-lb drones I built was supposed to be easy, LITERALLY EVERYONE EVERYWHERE WOULD DO IT. The average drone you would go spend a couple thousand dollars on at BestBuy has in-built systems that land, stabilize, and even navigate the aircraft. Think you've got 1:1 throttle control on your Parrot Bebop? Think again, kiddies! *Not to take anything away from Parrot drones, I have gone through 3 batteries for my Rolling Spider and am never looking back*

      SO how does this relate to StarFox? Well, for those of us who spent our childhoods pew-pew-pewing along with the X-wing fighter scenes in the Star Wars trilogy (you heard me - trilogy), StarFox Zero is THE fighter game we have been waiting to bring to our flatscreens. Sure, not being able to dodge around flying obstructions because the game is moving you in a specific direction is annoying, but there are A LOT of the things that people are writing off as gimmicks employed to get people excited about the Wii U that are ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD ELEMENTS that make the game exciting to play.

      1: The game pad is your cockpit view throughout the game, and the motion control is used to aim your weapons. Lots of people are hacked off about this because they want to have everything in a neat little package that they can use while nearly comatose. Think about that - first person view with joystick AND motion controls. GUESS WHAT FOLKS - THE AVIATION INDUSTRY DID IT FIRST.



      Every time I hear/read someone complaining about this control system, all I can think is: what exactly did you want from this game? Especially in the free-flight dogfights, StarFox delivers on enough of a panoramic view to mimic OH GEE I DON'T KNOW LOOKING AROUND IN YOUR COCKPIT TAKE FIVE SECONDS TO WATCH A SUPERCUT OF TOPGUN and the first person view you need to place precision shots. It does get a little annoying when the main screen locks on a boss or something, but if videogames were easy the guys who run this site would be out of jobs.

      2. The campaign looks short, but it's not something you want to breeze through in a single sitting. And if you did, fuck yourself until you can show me all those medals. And then go do it in co-op. AND THEN beat the free tower defense game that comes with it. THEN you can tell me how short it is. Besides, I'm tired of games that run slow and require you to sink countless hours into a single quest just to get to the next thing. Trust me, I'm at end game Destiny. I'm there. I know those feels, and until Rise of Iron comes out to give me another 30 hours of enjoyment I'll be playing this game (and probably Grimm Eclipse, not gonna lie guys, that game is on point).

      3. The co-op is not two people in two different Arwings. Can you freaking imagine? Sure, it would be sweet, but I also have no problem with the way it is now. "How can it take two people to fly this ship?" you might wonder, and you're an idiot. Artemis Spaceship Bridge Simulator requires AN ENTIRE CREW and is still hands-down the best space fighter game I have ever played. There are definitely some points in the StarFox campaign that I can't help but think "God damn I wish someone would take the controls so I can shoot the ever-loving piss out of the boss." Get/make/abduct some friends. Get some beer. Play it again and enjoy the nostalgia.

      Look, I get that with No Man's Sky making waves it's tough to hold up a space adventure and make it shine. But for me, StarFox Zero is a step back into a time when I played videogames for fun and not just to chew up time. It's got me looking back at the old Star Wars games with fondness instead of condescension, and you can be damn sure that your Arwing will never fail to launch because it's out of minerals.

      Just sayin'.

    • The Thoughts of Every Late-Night DJ...

      2 years ago

      TimothyG Smooshy-brain-math guy

      I've read a couple of these posts so far (just creeping around people's blogs, you know, creeper shit), and there's a pretty common thread - no one is really sure if anyone is reading them or what this system is supposed to be for. It kind of reminds me of the after-credits scene in WKRP when Venus Flytrap is sitting in the building by himself and he says on the radio that he's signing off "asking the question that every late-night DJ wonders about... is anybody out there listening?"

      *Bonus points for references to TV from before I was even a stain in some boxers? No? Fine.*

      I'm starting a Masters of Science degree in biomechanics at the University of Saskatchewan (don't feel bad if you've never heard of it - it's cold as fuck and we have a farm in the middle of a city. That's it. That's our identity). On top of FINALLY getting to feel like a reak=l scientist, joining a kick-ass research group, blah blah blah, the transition into my masters has had a lot of impact on how I interact with media.

      I took this summer to get ahead on my thesis and with a flexible schedule and nobody giving a damn what I do as long as I hit deadlines I've had some time to do what I haven't been able to since I was a kid - be a fan. I've had time to catch up on RWBY (my favorite RT show, GOD I can not wait for Season 4), actually use Twitter to interact with real live humans for once (crazy, I know), and be up-to-date enough that I actually wait for shows to go live instead of having to binge-watch them months later after the end of a semester. Next thing I know, I'm whipping out my credit card to become a First member. No regrets - I love being the first one of my friends to watch Camp Camp.

      Maybe I should use this journal to talk about what's going on in the shows I'm watching? Is that weird? Is that what this is for, or is that approaching levels of cringe-worthy that are usually reserved for that one kid from elementary school who went as Sasuke Uchiha for every Halloween? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. Shout out to Venus Flytrap - is anyone out there listening?

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