I'm up against a rather difficult choice. Pay $600+ for a plane ticket to go visit my grandparents, dad, and cousins for three days from the 15th to the 17th, or remain here and keep my bank account stable.
On the one hand, my grandmother may not have long left to live. There's a chance this could be my last chance to visit her. On the other, my bank account has taken a big hit lately due to my reduced work hours, among other things. It looks like I was down around $500 at the start of this month compared to last month. That's terrifying. And so I'm super nervous about spending that much for a ticket, especially for such a short visit. I'd much rather wait a month or two for prices to drop, and maybe get a longer stay too. And maybe in that time I'll get another job and feel more financially stable, too. Because right now I'm kinda scared for my finances. We just had two people quit my job this past week, so I've picked up a few more shifts for the time being, but new job postings have gone up so that isn't likely to last.
So basically, I have to choose between seeing some family members including my grandmother who isn't doing so well, or keeping enough money in my bank account to make sure I have a roof over my head while my job is being shit. I'm terrible at making big decisions, and this one is particularly painful. But right now I'm leaning towards making sure my bank account doesn't drop like crazy. I feel like that's the logical choice, to try to wait until flights are cheaper and make sure my life is stable, but at the same time I feel terrible about it because I might never see my grandmother again. My brother and I weren't really on great terms with them the last time we saw them (actually, it was pretty fucking bad, my grandfather's kind of an asshole), so that adds another layer to the equation, too. But even if I don't go, I can always give them a call, too.
It's a very hard choice to make, I don't know what to do. No matter what I choose I'm going to feel bad. Arrrgh...