July 12-Chuck Norris once picked an apple that wasn't quite ready so he put it back on the tree.
July 13-Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
July 14/15-Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn. He dares the grass to grow.
July 16-Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him.
July 17-Chuck Norris can tap dance through a minefield-wearing clown shoes.