I have to be out of my apartment in less than 15 days, with still no place to currently move too. My new job, which I was liking...to a point, I can see that I am not going to last long at this job, though I will give it my all for as long as I can. The fact that a lot of people don't want to make that switch to solar, or even want to talk to me makes it even more difficult. I can understand since 1 of 4 qualify for it so they don't see the point or see it as a waste of time. Just talk to me as a person because I do have feelings damn it, plus this area has new houses that most are solar ready from the get go, so even if it's a "Now is the time" situation, getting someone to stop and talk is probably the hardest for me.
I don't know what to do besides say "I got this," tell myself to power through, and remind myself "It all works out in some way" but this morning at 5 AM the lingering thought hit me, "What if I can't, what if I don't find a place,what will I do, I need a back up plan which I am quickly running out of as time has gone on?" "What if all the applications come back and say you don't make enough or your rent is too high?" I mean literally by October 1st I need to have at least $800 for my first month of rent, and I am not even sure if I can get that much by than since my next pay day is the 20th and after that is the 5th. The new job pay days, just don't help, I rather go bi weekly rather than bi monthly.
*sighs* Maybe I am just venting, what has been in the back of mind all along. Maybe I am lazy, irresponsible, and lets add messy roommate on that list. It's time to go to do my job and stand on my feet for the next 7 hours, I expect my feet to hurt a lot, since I will be standing and not moving. Maybe I will manage to pull something, eventually the pitches will click, but for now it's just getting the answers I need.
anyways thanks for reading, I hope everyone has a great day, mine isn't feeling so great right now but I am trying to stay strong and positive.