C'mon Beardy! Let's get this off our chests
And I'm not talking about the bra that's holding in those breasts.
I'm the father of achievement hunter
The real OG
All the fame you have today
You got because of me.
I'm being pretty nice to call what you have 'fame'
I'm sorry... is your voice in all the Halo games?
When AHWU goes up, everybody tunes in
Then slam on the mute when your sections begins.
That radio voice is the best thing you've got
Too bad when Ryan talks we can't tell you apart!
I've been quiet too long, so I'm losing the gloves
Droppin bearded bitches harder than the corpirate does!
I'm the face of victory
Serving constant comedy
Schooling lads left and right while I'm sipping on whiskey
When it comes to AH, there's no doubt I'm the best
It's like you saddled me up, just to ride my success.


Achievement Hunter was nothing before I came around
If you had it alone. It'd be flat on the ground
Everyone knows just how much work I do
I'll smack you so hard you'll see butterflies, too!
I'm what's hot, your what's not
Knocking back twenty shots
Until you drop your work on me because you got too cocked!
I see you every single week to go another round
Made you spell PIG more than Old McDonald hears its sound!
I'm the voice of AH, I got my face on a shirt
No one even noticed you were gone when your thumb got hurt!
I may have gotten far off of your idea
But without my help you wouldn't still have a career
I've had the tower more than you
and was the first to win GO
Yet I'm the guy who has to edit almost every single show
You're a lazy, drunken, tattooed little louse
So fuck you and this rap.
I'm gunna go build a house!


Enough! This rap battle has gone to far
So get lost in the sick slick riffs from Mogar
I'm the loudest in the Let's Plays
Without me they feel dead
Taking countless towers home just from bashing in heads
You guys brought me on just so AH could grow
Now I'm the only one here with his own solo show
I'm the guy behind all the best vids, that's a fact
So brace while I surgeon sim my fist up your ass!
People laugh when I scream,
They clap when I scoff
I get a 'thank you' for telling fans to 'fuck off!'
I'm a pivotal player. I get to work with my wife.
Now step off, before I make you rage quit your own life!


Woah, take a step back
And rethink the whole thing
Cause there's only one who's the best
All hail the Mad King!
I'm an animator baby. Who can run a PC
So when times got tough you came crawling to me
From the first Let's Play I've been making you money
And all the comments read "Wow, when did Jack get funny?'
I made one little gadget and became "the smartest guy here'
Solve an equation and I'll be made "genius of the year'
I'm the leader of the crew,
I'm the best through and through
Beat you so much the tower lives at Kung-Fu
I'm like a mad scientist. I'm in complete control
I'll name you all Edgar and shove your asses in a hole!


Hold it right there, you mingy, drippy spaffs
I'm over here working while you're having a laugh
I spend all my time editing Minecraft plays
One hour late, and we're getting complaints for days
You didn't think that I'd get so many fans?
One funny guy in a group of dumb Americans?
When I talk, they laugh. I play a game, they buy it.
I'm not in a Let's Play? Well then they all riot!
I'll drown you in rhymes.
Like a lyrical ocean.
Go creeper on your ass and play it back in slow motion.
I'm the only fun one. You're all stuck in a rut
My words will shoot you down like M-M-M-MARK NUTT!


OH! The Puerto Rican's stepping in to this rap battle fight
Five on one. Pfft. I mean YOLO right?
My constant wins keep fans jumping out of their seats
Slapping all your bitch faces when I spin my meat
I get a shirt every day
I'm made of catchphrases
RTX was full of people saying they were gunna go cakeless
I might be a junior, but I'm still a big man
Owning the tower of pimps since that battle began
C'mon you guys, this is Achievement Hunter
My gamerscore is higher than yours combined with each other
I'm the funniest one here. That, everyone knows
So get back to your desks, before I beat you down with a rose!