Episode #10: Time Barbarians

Theater Mode: Episode #10: Time Barbarians

Tits, time travel, and that guy from Mortal Kombat? Man, this movie has everything! Give the AH guys a “barbarian hello” and join them on a trek through time in this week’s movie, Time Barbarians!

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Comments (238)

  • BeholdMeat FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 days ago

    This is a terrible Volkor movie. Not nearly enough crushin' puss.

  • LiuKangpie94

    1 month ago

    not good for the drinking game

  • maxmatt FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Maxmatt

    1 month ago

    Please make Theater Mode Live Available.

  • S04r1ngh4wk FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 month ago

    Anyone else notice the Legend of Zelda sound effect as he pulled the sword outta the rock? lol

  • gilleban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    1 month ago

    I should have known...I know Conn MacLir and Tony Swatton...a movie this bad HAD to include their work...

    • gilleban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      1 month ago

      And incidentally, for coming out a year sooner a ridiculously similar plot would be recycled for Beastmaster 2...but that had almost no boobs.

  • sacutiepie FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    2 months ago

    Tunnel Snakes at 51:30 ish?

  • MalignantDwarf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    2 months ago

    I didn't want to read through all the comments, but has anybody pointed out that this movie is like the Beastmaster 2 with serious budget issues?

  • PedoPandas FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 months ago

    When Jack says "IN MY LIFE" i couldn't remember the song its from and its driving me nuts. Does anyone remember the name of it? It's 29:04 in

  • IAmTheSorge FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 months ago

    WHY ARE THE BARBARIANS SPEAKING SHAKESPEAREAN ENGLISH? THIS ANNOYS ME SO MUCH

  • shadowrain22 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    3 months ago

    2/3 of the way through the movie and gotta say, it's just a much shittier Thor.  Guy gets yelled at for fucking up and sent to Earth, finds random girl, they fall in love instantly for no reason.  Except Thor actually had cool action/visuals and told an interesting story (just not a good love story), while this...has none of that.

  • Pancakeninja27 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Ashica Cosplays

    4 months ago

    i force my self to watch every theater mode with out stoping to torture my self <3 this was real torture

  • WrongWayKid FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 months ago

    Fucking dicks, it took me 4 days but I finally finished watching this video. The movie is just so bad >_<

  • MadDogDelpho FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    4 months ago

    Doran kinda looks like late 80's James Hetfield

  • Darthmarshie

    4 months ago

    It's interesting to see how "beauty standards" for men in film changed between then and now. It used to be that super-buff, bodybuilder type guys (like barbarian guy) were the epitome of good looking whereas these days the standard seems to be more towards lean and muscular, but not huge - just really cut. It's like there was an overnight change somewhere between 1985 and 2000 where everyone decided that it just wasn't attractive to be that bulky.

    • Nomenvenator FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      4 months ago

      "Beauty standards" are always in constant flux, but I'd say in this particular case it comes down to this: the "Body-Builder/Conan" body type was not meant to be sexual fantasy for women but for men, basically "This is what you want to be" and nowadays people acknowledge that women generally find more lean-muscular men to be more attractive than the brick-shit-house look.


      That being said there will always be some women (and men) who prefer the body-builder type, but this isn't generally the case. Everyone's attractive to someone, so in the end... eh. 

  • Twiggenstein FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Official twig

    5 months ago

    Oh my god, Thankskilling 3 managed to be pushed into the spot of my 2nd most hated movie of all time.

  • Adjory FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    5 months ago

    Holy fuck, Doran has to be one of the most incompetent action movie heroes ever.

  • ManTramp

    5 months ago

    OMG Jack just won't stfu in this video, it's so annoying. he's like jeremy is in every video

    • Juzzytv FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      5 months ago

      Yeah, It's not like it's THEIR JOB to talk and entertain throughout videos. I totally agree....noob hahahahahah

    • AliasCassandra FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      17 hours ago

      I though Jack was the best thing about this video. That entire "I stabbed my foot" bit was hysterical.

  • GandalfGirl FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    5 months ago

    "Oh don't tell me, you're from some Nordic country, and you're here to catch some criminal and take him back?" Bitch what do you think people from the north are like? Fucking hilarious.

  • DanielAusti1 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    5 months ago

    I swear, my aunt has like, a dozen books with this guy on the cover or something.

  • Dragonesszena FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    5 months ago

    Jack and Geoff tend to sit the same way every time they're on the show together, I'm noticing.

  • BrandonK FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    His name was Deron? His fucking name was Deron!?

  • SaryonPlays FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    Was he going 80 miles an hour at the end? 

  • BrandonK FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    I'm only 4 minutes in but I think I've seen this movie.

  • ArrTeaJack

    6 months ago

    "I'll bite it off, you'll hate that". Yeah wait until episode 16.

  • Shadster FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    These are the perfect kind of movies for theatre mode, shit enough that there's jokes to be made about it, but no so shit its painful to watch even with AH

  • Sangjester FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold InSeRtBrAiN

    6 months ago

    Kinda wish Geoff didn't watch them before hand. I like the idea of three people being subjected to the movies, without knowing whats going on in it. 

  • beastdude FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rock god in training

    6 months ago

    "Your swords match your manhood" best line ever.

  • Pfootball7174 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    how did no one think the blond thug looked like Jonah hill

    • Shadster FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 months ago

      I'm more concerned no one made the connection to Bowser from the Super mario Bros movie

  • daneonwayne FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    The cameraguy at around 1:31:00 looks like he was posing for a GTA load screen card.

  • CKBryant FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    This is the best movie they've played on Theater Mode, I'm in love.

  • Peanut1996 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    Mandark's laugh if people wanted to hear it although michaels impression was pretty spot on:

  • Tredyn FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    I take a shot when they say take a drink and some of these movies get a little hard to finish. Oh and i wish they would host live watchings of theater mode, so at least I'd have a chat to drink with!

  • agent_neil

    6 months ago

    fun nerd fact: the "eagle" you keep hearing is actually the cry of a red-tailed hawk, which has a harsh scream, compared to the somewhat wimpy - in comparison - call of a bald eagle. It's used in 95% of movies, even if the bird isn't a red-tailed hawk.

    • ClryDemigod FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 months ago

      jeez guy, save some pussy for the rest of us

  • Darthmarshie

    7 months ago

    I feel like we need James Willems on this show at some point.

    • genericdude1 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 months ago

      Oh absolutely. I want to see this happen.

  • MattWilson FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    Oh shit, Tony Swatton (the guy who made the sword) is the guy who used to do the Man At Arms stuff on the AWE ME youtube chanel

    • gilleban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      1 month ago

      Indeed, before it was taken over by the Stagmer brothers.  Tony used the same format when Blizzard tapped him to do the pre-Legion "Azeroth Armory" series.  Conn MacLir is still a leatherworker at the southern California Renaissance Pleasure Faire

  • KM3R FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    1:20:16 that face :P

  • Mitchmeow310 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Mitchmeow

    7 months ago

    This is literally Volkor: The Movie.

  • bringtheruckus357 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWNNNN

    they left michael hanging

  • Dante193 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    lul how does he know how to deflect bullets with his sword? i mean never seeing a gun before wouldn't the gun fire and him getting shot be like magic to him?

    • Leijonsden

      6 months ago

      It's probably at least kind of similar to deflecting an arrow.

  • Stateless573 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold gahhh

    7 months ago

    I bet they would shit themselves if they saw the actual funhaus logo

  • GeoffVader FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    Out of curiosity, I looked up the definition of "talent" as a unit of measurement. Dictionary.com's 7th definition for the word "talent" is as follows:

    "any of various ancient units of weight, as a unit of Palestine and Syria equal to 3000 shekels, or a unit of Greece equal to 6000 drachmas."

    This does not answer any questions that I had previously, and in fact has only raised additional questions.

  • GeoffVader FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    So if that dude can feel it when his wife gets hit in the back of the head.... What did he feel when she got raped by that evil barbarian guy?

  • olivemeister FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    > Dr. Ron LaScala

    Was not expecting to see my last name. Especially not like this... not like this.

  • maddog2201 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    Who the fuck asked Mr. Meeseeks to get weapons?

  • AdamYoung4 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    That mandark gets me every time haha

  • N0VEMBER FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    I mean theater mode isn't bound by bad movies only. That's what it initially started with, but you can mix it up with decent ones from time to time.

    • KirkMiller91 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 months ago

      Mostly it's about rights. Bad and mediocre movies are cheap to license.

    • Swordfish280 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 months ago

      I get what you are saying. but they should still be bad but on high budgets. I've been pushing for Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and Stealth (though I do actually like both movies despite dumbness lol)

  • CenterJacked FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    I would love to see what type of commentary they would do on an actually okay/goodish movie. And best episode, in terms of the hilarity of the commentary so far, in my opinion. Lost it with Jacks foot joke

  • KirkMiller91 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    Jack really likes those jokes where he says blood is something else, e.g. jelly, paint, ketchup. He makes that same joke in almost every movie there's blood.


    Other than that, though, great episode of Theater Mode.

    • nicus9 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 months ago

      Well when you see something that is clearly jelly or ketchup its not really a joke

    • KirkMiller91 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 months ago

      @nicus9 But it gets repetitive when he points it out over and over again.

    • nicus9 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 months ago

      The same way they point out the lack of lighting? Or the bad audio? Or the bad acting? Or the lack of plot? Its called conversation lol. They point out a lot of things repeatedly because its true for each movie.

    • KirkMiller91 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 months ago

      @nicus9 The difference is that those other things aren't just one joke. They are things that they can use to make a variety of different jokes and remarks about. The blood thing is basically the same every time. "Oh, look he/she got jelly/ketchup/paint on them."

  • danbonrp FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    i thought they only show scary movies

    • THRILL606 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 months ago

      They're not really set on anything specific it's just that extremely shitty horror movies are not hard to come by.

    • MelonCider

      7 months ago

      Thankskilling 3 wasn't a "scary" movie though, neither was Apocalypse Kiss.

    • AstroMoth FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold AstroMoth

      7 months ago

      This thing was horrifically bad. Does that count?

  • ScrewySam FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    7 months ago

    I would totally watch a Time Barbarian movie starring Blaine as Doran

    • SuperKaiju FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 months ago

      do it and do it now! this needs to happen

    • beastdude FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rock god in training

      6 months ago

      Closest thing I can think of is the iblade rt shorts.