The Jeremy Plant - AHWU for January 30th, 2017 (#354)

AHWU: The Jeremy Plant - AHWU for January 30th, 2017 (#354)

Thanks to ProFlowers for sponsoring today's video. Make sure you go to http://www.proflowers.com and use code JackandGeoff to get 2 dozen assorted roses with a FREE glass vase starting at only $29.99.

Boy. Yes, you there, boy. Or are you a girl? These eyes aren't doing me much good these days. Come here and let this old, ragged man spin you a yarn, and also try to sell you some seeds! There was once a dark cave full of idiots that played games on their magical electric windows. These were the Achievement Hunters, and they were great..until they all died.

Geoff the Drunkard's essence was scattered to the wind. Jack the Bearded's remains are said to be guarded by the fiercest of dragons. The others are somewhere too, but fuck those guys. I need to tell you about Jeremy the Short. Unlike the others, he has not been lost, no! In order to maintain his essence, he was fused with the finest flowers and sealed away in these here magic seeds. They say when the world needs Jeremy most, a gullible young boy (or girl) must buy these magic seeds and plant them. In 6-8 months, Jeremy the Short will be reborn as Plant Jeremy the Flower King - a most brave hero with flowers filling his mouth! So hopefully grave terror is far enough away to where you have time to plant the Jeremy plant before our world is doomed.

By the look on your face, you don't seemed convinced. Well fuck you too, kid. Just buy my damn seeds already. Buy them now, before my good friend Stabby McSlicey has to come out of my pocket. Wait. Where you going? Who's going to buy my seeds? I need money to buy food!


Watch the Video of the Week and Community Video of the Week!

Binge Mode

More AHWU

See All AHWU Videos

Other Videos You'll Like

Comments (28)

  • Vairia FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold The Haunted Witch

    6 months ago

    i get that me undies are amazing, but GAVIN PLEASE NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR CREEPER GREEN UNDIES. 

  • Justin-Thadick FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    I think geoff should grow his mustache in a similar style to AHWU #34 to boost views

  • CommanderLeopard FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Human

    6 months ago

    That ad read really fit well after the Resident Evil clip.

  • Mordart FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    OMG, Jeremy even stole the ROSES from Ray corpse!

  • godzylla FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    jeremy now looks like he ate a rose bush. i wounder if that smelled good.

  • FirenautPhx FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Phoenician

    6 months ago

    Roses? Ray confirmed!


    Seriously, Good luck in Australia and apologize for America for us, Jack! Pattillo/Ramsey 2020!


    Also the ProFlowers code I read that as JackoffGeoff. Yeah.

  • LethargicMayhem FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    Hey Jack, if you don't want the record let me know.  Would love to surprise the SO with it for her collection. ;)

  • JackBriar FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    What a beautiful Jeremy

  • GreyGhost9036 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Angry Beaver

    6 months ago

    Water a jeremy plant and it will grow big and ta... Well it will grow. 

  • dlempares FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Mom Friend

    6 months ago

    A+ description. 

  • Icarosaurvus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    I think they need to water their Jeremy Plant. It's looking a bit short. 

  • killerrin FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    Some real creative intros/outros this week

  • Austriker Austriker

    6 months ago

    Can we start a tip jar going for the next 8 years we put a dollar in everytime jack mentions trump and something negative

    • tahupierce FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 months ago

      We might save up enough to buy a mechanical Pussy Grabber!

    • lolohannah FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 months ago

      8 years? Getting a little ahead of yourself aren't you? 

    • AxelDrake FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 months ago

      I doubt it'll be 8 years, because he'll either be impeached, won't get a second term, or we'll have been bombed to hell, but we could save up enough money to help fund the campaign of a good president if not :D

    • Neo_Baggins FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 months ago

      That alone will put the national budget in the black...I'll go ahead and pool the money for everyone...

  • TDWolfpack35 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    I have that exact same album!

  • Kikyobutt FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Keeper of Beards

    6 months ago

    Jack please, EVERY song on Boston's self titled album is a hit, don't forget that.


    But seriously I am a little jealous, that's a great album and I want a vinyl of it too.

  • Don_Vito_11 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    Trevor gets his eyebrows done

  • Icky427 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Icky

    6 months ago

    so "kill the bad guy" is a real game. -__-

  • ChazzaWard FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Theoretical Skeptic

    6 months ago

    I would say it's rather fitting to release an Apocalypse Now game

  • niriiun FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold always tired

    6 months ago

    jeremy's becoming one with nature 

  • Oblesidon FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    Dear Jack,


    Nobody cares about your political opinions.

    • Atrocitus117 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 months ago

      Found the triggered Trumptard.

    • AClack

      6 months ago

      Atrocitus117, Trump is President of the United States, deal with it

  • thelittlemeow FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

    6 months ago

    Jeremy...the beautiful rose fairy princess  fire

    • thelittlemeow FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 months ago

      Or just getting ready for his Coachella appearance lol