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  • At the Screwvies: Episode 127

    1 week ago

    g1Features

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    MADHERO: Hello everyone. Hope y'all are ready for some good ol fashioned FOOTBALL TALK! THAT'S RIGHT, ITS TIME FOR THE SUPER BOWL! So who cares about movies and such. If we talk about them, we'll talk about those 30 second trailers that play in between the match, because that's how we roll, baby. So guys, are you going to be rooting for the Los Angeles Rams or the New England Patriots?


    STICKMAN: I wish someone would ram my patriot. By which I mean hellllooo.


    LARRY: I'm going for the Los England Patrams.


    MADHERO: What a bunch of cowards. All you had to say was "fuck Tom Brady" and there'd be cheers everywhere. Aw well.


    STICKMAN: Who's Tom Brady. Is he of The Brady Bunch?


    MADHERO: This is what we're dealing with, people. Lets just move on to news.


    NEWS

    ACADEMY AWARDS ANNOUNCE THEIR NOMINATIONS. THE FAVOURITE AND ROMA LEAD WITH 10 NOMINEES

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    Its that time of the year again: the time where we all bitch about the 91st Academy Awards' nominees. They may be hostless, they may not sing all the songs (or at least now they do) but they're still filled with spicy takes. While most people were expecting films like A Star is Born or The Favourite, the Best Picture nominees surprised with Bohemian Rhapsody and Vice, two not particularly well reviewed films that still managed their way to the main prize, along with the first ever superhero film ever nominated with Black Panther, the first Netflix film with Roma, along with Blackkklansman and Green Book.


    Perhaps the most interesting thing this year is there isn't much in the way of a front runner. Green Book has picked up important awards, but failed to get a Best Director nod and both the director and writer are mired in controversy and would feel like a bland pick when compared to previous winners Moonlight and Shape of Water. A Star is Born has felt like it lost momentum and Roma might have the Netflix and foreign language bias . All the categories besides Best Actress (Glenn Close seems to have it in the bag) are still up for grabs, which does make things more fun for the Prediction blog. And hey, Spider-Verse scored a well deserved Best Animated Feature, so the snubbing of Lord and Miller content has at least ended. In any case, I'll await your take on how BP is just your average MCU film that doesn't deserve this honor for whatever reason.


    LARRY: Where the HELL IS MY BEALE STREET BEST PICTURE NOM


    MADHERO: Blame Annapurna putting all its eggs into Vice's basket, and that seems to have worked out


    LARRY: Blegh. That movie is such PANTS.


    STICKMAN: Vice was poopy. If Beale Street Could RELEASE IN THE UK I'd go watch it.


    MADHERO: I haven't seen it so I can't provide a scalding hot take. Bohemian Rhapsody though..... the fucking hell, guys? I know it did insanely well but so did Mission Impossible Fallout and that has 0 nominations


    STICKMAN: This year's Best Picture nominations are especially poor I must say. Some great films in there but also a lot of shit. Last few years it's been hard to deny the quality of the nominations even if you liked others more, but this year it's like...the fuuuuck?


    LARRY: Yeah it's a weak year. And almost all of them have people spewing hot takes everywhere. Or controversy or like. Something bad. See if we had BEALE STREET THERE WOULDN'T BE ANY PROBLEMS.


    MADHERO: The amount of divisiveness seems to make it hard to pick an outright villain this year. Most have pointed to Green Book since that has the best chance of winning out the bunch. I gotta say, out of all these, I'd personally go with The Favourite or Blackkklansman. That or Roma, which does need to overcome a lot of barriers


    STICKMAN: I feel like I don't know the frontrunner any more, either. Star is Born seems to have lost its momentum and Green Book has proved controversial and that usually spells doom.


    LARRY: I have a feeling it's gonna be Rooooomaaaaaaa pls let it be Roma, fuck all the Netflix haters.


    STICKMAN: I want Black Panther to win, not because I think it's the best film of the year, but because of the simultaneous celebrations and also fanboy rage it would cause. The internet would break.


    LARRY: White boys would be so pissy. It'd be a sight.


    MADHERO: Oh the amount of white boy rage it would create would power the earth for years. And yeah I wouldn't mind it. It ain't gonna, but that's part of the fun.


    LARRY: You can we talk about Cold War coming in with a director AND cinematography nod? Impressive stuff.


    MADHERO: Not bad. The Foreign Language category is really strong this year


    STICKMAN: What about Weekends for Best Animated Shorts, guys. LET'S DO IT. LET'S MAKE THE MAGIC.


    MADHERO: I've only seen the dumpling one cause I'm super casual. But yeah, we'll be sure to provide predictions closer to the show. But I'll at least be willing to predict the show being a shitshow from what has been revealed


    LARRY: How's that host search coming along?


    STICKMAN: I'm hosting the Oscars. That's why I know Weekends is going to winnnn. HUHUHAUHAUAUUAHHHH


    DC ANNOUNCES RELEASE DATE FOR MATT REEVES’ THE BATMAN. BEN AFFLECK OFFICIALLY OUT

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    DC has given us several updates this past week regarding many different projects currently being developed at the DCEU: we got our first look at the characters in the upcoming Birds of Prey film, the announcement of a Super Pets film (which is surely going to sell like hot cakes), and, most importantly, a word on the upcoming solo venture for Batfleck...or so we thought.


    After speculation and rumors abound, Deadline has reported that Ben Affleck plans on ditching the ol' cape and cowl, though not necessarily because he's being replaced. Instead, Matt Reeves, who is still signed on as writer and director, will be focusing on a young Bruce Wayne, with his film now slated for a June 2021 release date. In an interview with Hollywood Reporter, the director talked about exploring the more detective part of Batman, as well as featuring a rogues gallery rather than just one villain. This...could be good? I'm interested in exploring the life of a young Bruce Wayne, and with the right actor in the part, it could be an interesting way to continue ol' Batty's story without conflicting with the canon. Why fret, Flashpoint will solve all of our problems, surely. hehe


    MADHERO: RIP Batfleck. May darkness welcome you once again


    STICKMAN: The sound of silence has consumed him forever.


    LARRY: Ain't much of a loss tbh


    MADHERO: I think the overall consensus of his time is good Batman in not particuarly good films. That's certainly where I stand. He did the best with what he had to work with


    STICKMAN: I thought he was great in BvS but the film was bad, and he had nothing to do in Justice League at all. He was completely wasted , and a Matt Reeves Batman trilogy would've been a real redemption for his tenure. Oh well.


    LARRY: Eh, he was good but nothing compared to other great Batmen. We still got Reeves tho, and that man knows how to make a god damn MOVIE.


    MADHERO: The search is now on for a new Batman, and it seems to be moving at least now that it has a solid release date. I like Reeves doing this as well as the promise of diving more into Batty's detective skills and a rogues gallery. So, any cast suggestions?


    LARRY: Well it's gotta be someone a bit younger. I guess an obvious choice is someone like Armie Hammer.


    MADHERO: Honestly yeah Armie Hammer seems like a good pick, and he was gonna be Batman in George Miller's Justice League, so it'd be a nice twist of fate, but I guess we'll see.


    STICKMAN: I think we should just have LEGO Batman in the role.


    LARRY: Will Arnett isn't an awful choice...


    MADHERO: That's the  only truly right choice, which is why they wont do it


    STICKMAN: Dye Dan Stevens hair black and there we go. I'd watch that.


    UNIVERSAL REMAKING THE INVISIBLE MAN THROUGH BLUMHOUSE, DARK UNIVERSE CHANGES COURSE.

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    Remember The Mummy? No, not that one...OR that one...the Tom Cruise one? No? Well, it was meant to launch the DARK UNIVERSE, a shared universe of action adventure movies based around the iconic Universal Horror staple of films. It was so in motion we got an official logo and twitter account (Now gone) which previewed the upcoming roster of actors/actresses involved...one of them was Johnny Depp, who was to be, as many wish he would be these days, THE INVISIBLE MAN. Well, The Mummy tanked, the Dark Universe is dead, but you can't kill the Universal Monsters themselves for very long. 


    Blumhouse, a long time partner with Universal Studios, have been entrusted with bringing the Invisible Man reboot to the big screen again, sans Johnny Depp and now with 'Upgrade' director and SAW co-creator Leigh Whannell attached to bring it to life. The focus is now on smaller, horror-based projects with a roster of directors bringing their unique touch to individual characters/monsters, rather than joining them together in a big mushy action sludge-pile. Needless to say, this is the best case scenario turnaround for the Universal Monsters, and I'm very excited to see how this turns out. Fuck Johnny Depp!


    MADHERO: Maybe Johnny Depp is still in it and he'll just be invisible


    STICKMAN: I hope Johnny Depp's role in the film is like his role in Orient Express, where he's dead.


    LARRY: That would be ideal.


    MADHERO: Honestly they should've gone to Blumhouse from the very beginning. That made more sense than spending all this money of a non-existent universe that even had its own logo.


    STICKMAN: Blumhouse is Universal's horror money machine.


    LARRY: Maybe they'll give one to Peele.


    STICKMAN: Jordan Peele's Creature from the Black Lagoon.


    MADHERO: I think Peele is gonna be busy with his own original work plus Twilight Zone, but hey who knows. Leigh Whannell is gonna be a busy boy with this and him now writing the Escape from New York remake


    STICKMAN: We'll never get Upgrade 2: Upgrade Harder now.


    MADHERO: Does make you wonder what they're going to do with the other Universal movie monsters, but lets see them do this first before going DARK UNIVERSE 2 BABY!


    STICKMAN: I WANT CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOOOOOON. MAKE IT A FUN AND CAMPY HORROR WITH A BIG BUFF FISH MAN.


    LARRY: Let's just release one and then see if the franchise tank can hold any more.


    UNIVERSAL RELEASES FIRST TRAILER FOR FAST AND FURIOUS SPIN-OFF HOBBS AND SHAW

    Who's ready to follow some beefy men fight cybernetic Idris Elba with cars and elevators!?! Well, you're in luck sirs and madams!! The debut trailer for the latest installment in the Fast & Furious franchise, fully titled "Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw" (christ), has Dwayne Johnson's Luke Hobbs and Jason Staaafammm's Deckard Shaw, a hero and villain of the films, teaming up to defeat Idris Elba's Brixton, a supervillain that has been cyber-genetically enhanced...it's basically superpowers, which I guess are a thing now in this universe.


    The trailer is pretty bad in how its edited, or shall I say COBBLED, together, but some of the action looks like classic F&F dumb fun. Cars flying around, some stupid comedy, maybe a contrived moral about friendship and not judging books by their cover. Sure. But will it be the same without Vin Diesel and familyyyyyyy?? Nope. But we'll take what we can get.


    MADHERO: How is this both a pretty bad trailer and also a trailer that makes me want to buy 10 

    tickets


    STICKMAN: I would watch this garbage. Dwayne the John Rockson and Jason Statham are the double act we never knew we needed.


    LARRY: It's essentially two trailers in one. There's the funny "Why Can't We Be Friends?" parody song version, and then the action-packed version. They conveniently smushed them together.


    MADHERO: I like how they continue to ignore the fact Jason Statham's character literally killed one of the main gang but its all good now.


    STICKMAN: He scored high with test audiences so now he's ONE OF THE GANG. Vin Diesel is actually in every scene in the movie but he refused to be on screen with Dwayne so he's out of frame in each one.


    MADHERO: The existence of this film must piss Vin so much since he and the Rock can't stand each other. Its kinda funnnnnny. Also, I guess superpowers are a thing now in the F&F verse


    STICKMAN: Sure why not. Makes going into space seem more plausible if anything.


    MADHERO: We had zombie cars in Fate of the Furious and now superpowers here. WE'RE THIS CLOSE TO SPACE! I CAN TASTE THE OZONE


    STICKMAN: In Space nobody can hear you say FeamiAEIAily.


    LARRY: Watch Idris get brought back after HE'S an audience favorite. Cuz ya know he will be


    MADHERO: Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw Presents: Hobbs and Shaw and Brixton


    STICKMAN: I've had a brain hemorrhage from reading that.


    ZACK SNYDER TO DIRECT ZOMBIE HEIST MOVIE ARMY OF THE DEAD FOR NETFLIX

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    We've talked about DC a bunch, so maybe let's talk about the guy who originally got the universe started. Needless to say, Zack Snyder has had it rough, both in the production of massive movies that were either reviewed mixed or outright panned, to eventually letting go of Justice League (and some would suggest fired) and dealing with personal tragedy. Even with all that, he's still a capable director with a clear sense of style, so it was always interesting to see what he does next. For a long time that looked to be a adaptation of Ayn Rand's Fountainhead (oh no) but that seems to have been scrapped (phew) for a return to his roots.


    Before 300 and Watchmen, Snyder first broke through from his commercial gigs after directing 2004's Dawn of the Dead, a remake that's better than it has any right to be. He's now, in partnership with Netflix, going to make Army of the Dead, a 90 million action heist thriller about a group of mercenaries doing some heisting in Las Vegas....which just happens to be quarentined due to a zombie outbreak. It'll be nice to see Snyder work outside the realm of comics, and the promise of a "fully loose" Snyder should be at least interesting (especially if you count Sucker Punch as still being restrained).


    STICKMAN: I can't believe the director of the Owls of Ga'Hoole is BACK.


    MADHERO: I keep forgetting that movie exists and that he directed it. I'm just really glad Fountainhead isn't happening. That would've set the internet on fire.


    LARRY: Maybe not the best time to make a post-apocalyptic movie about Las Vegas given the mass shooting that happened there in 2017. Not exactly sure I’m looking for that kinda content. Especially not from Zack Snyder.


    MADHERO: I can sorta see where you're coming from, Larry, but the sad part is people move on from that really quickly. Plus its more escapist in the sense that its about a zombie apocalypse


    STICKMAN: I'm not seeing the connection between zombie apocalypse and a mass shooting.


    LARRY: Yeah, but violence isn’t exactly escapism when that’s exactly what happened. I’m just not interested in seeing corpses lie the ground of Las Vegas.


    STICKMAN: If you couldn't set a film in a part of America that had seen gun violence in the past year, you wouldn't have any movies set in in America.


    MADHERO: But we're talking about an extremely unrealistic scenario here. I dunno, I think this could be fun but I'm worried that Snyder going hogwild is like all those Shaggy memes talking about how he's only so much % of his power. Like, we're getting Ultra Instinct Snyder soon


    STICKMAN: Snyder unleashed with all his Owl ga'hooling chaos.


    MADHERO: Sucker Punch was only 1% of his true power. Be afraid.


    LARRY: Look, I’m just saying the timing isn’t the best. But also, Snyder doesn’t make movies I’m interested in seeing, so why should I be even remotely excited for this?


    STICKMAN: I feel like that's more your issue here.


    LARRY: Yeah, it’s a me thing. But I also find Snyder to be a mediocre filmmaker at best who’s films revel in this sort of machismo that I’m not interested in. So, I dunno, just doesn’t seem like him going back to his “roots” really warrants all this hype.


    MADHERO: Netflix is making a little bit of everything, and even though Snyder's work hasn't been.... great over the years, I'm still interested with what he does next. Except the Fountainhead. Please don't do that


    CHRISTOPHER NOLAN AND EDGAR WRIGHT ANNOUNCE THEIR NEXT PROJECTS FOR 2020.

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    Two of nerdoms most popular British directors, Christopher Nolan and Edgar Wright, have been a little radio silent since their respective, tremendous 2017 films (Dunkirk and Baby Driver), with the question on everyone's lips having been WHAT'S NEXT, GUYS!? Well...now we know....soooorta? First, Warner Bros have given Nolan's next movie a release slot of July 17th 2020...that's slap-bang in SUMMER MOVIES SEASON, and it's billed as an 'Event Movie' releasing in IMAX and that's...well that's literally all we know. Not a name, not a premise, not nothing. Cool. 


    Over at the Wright camp, we have a bit more information, even if it is a little vague...but oh so enticing. After dipping his toes in comedy-drama with Baby Driver, Wright is seemingly stepping into full serious territory...with a Soho (London) set psychological horror, filming this summer and with Anya Taylor Joy set to star, presumably for a 2020 release date as well. FUCK. YES. He also confirmed Baby Driver 2's script was more or less finished, with that likely coming after his horror project. So yeah, lots to look forward to, and in Nolan's case, many reasons for IMDB staff to be panicking already.


    MADHERO: I can't believe the 2020 Nolan movie is already the top rated film on IMDB


    LARRY: Damn, Nolan AND Wright in 2020? We are truly blessed.


    MADHERO: You just know it will at some point because it happens to all his movies. TDKR has no business in the IMDB Top 250. Anywaaaaaay


    STICKMAN: With Nolan, Wright and Villenienienvue all having films out in 2020, it's gonna be a real modern master  directors paradise.


    MADHERO: God, Dune is gonna be awesome, but we're not talking Villeneuve. I'm definitely interested in Wright doing something a bit more horror themed. Baby Driver was already a pretty big departure for him and I'd like to see develop as a filmmaker


    STICKMAN: I'm fucking ready for a Edgar Wright horror movie. I hope they call it DON'T and it's a feature length version of his fake trailer.


    LARRY: I don’t know what else to say other than these all sound amazing.


    ----------

    MADHERO: Indeed. But hey, why talk about movies that are actually out right now. Now it being the Super Bowl weekend, its kinda quieter than normal, but there's still plenty of room for something.... awesome.


    STICKMAN: Is it Batman.


    MADHERO: I mean, Batman's in it.


    LARRY: ooh la laaaaaaa


    MADHERO: How much Batman? Well I dunno really, but he's there. He's in....


    MOVIES

    THE LEGO MOVIE 2: THE SECOND PART

    DIRECTOR: Mike Mitchell (The Spongebob Movie: Sponge out of Water, Trolls)

    STARRING: Chris Pratt, Elizabeth Banks, Tiffany Haddish, Will Arnett, Stephanie Beatriz, Charlie Day, Alison Brie, Nick Offerman

    SYNOPSIS: Five years since everything was awesome, the Duplo invaders have turned Bricksburg into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. When an intergalactic invader (Beatriz) from the Systar System kidnaps Emmet’s friends (Banks, Arnett etc.) under the orders of shape-shifter Queen Watevra Wa-Nabi (Haddish), Emmet's (Pratt) Master Builder skills are put to the ultimate test.

    STICKMAN: OOOOohooOOOOoh.


    LARRY: I hear there's yet ANOTHER earworm song in this, And it's gonna get me cuz I'm a sucker for it.


    MADHERO: I can't believe its been 5 years since the original Lego Movie what the fuck even is time.


    STICKMAN: I'm ready for it. LEGO Movie was great, so was LEGO Batman Movie to be honest. LEGO Ninjago movie even was fun. Ready for moooore.


    MADHERO: And as is Lego movie tradition, the song will be the only thing getting nominated for awards


    STICKMAN: Dang yo. That's cold.


    LARRY: Yeah I'm a fan of all the LEGO movies thus far, even if they've slightly declined with each installment. I've heard this is a worthy follow-up, so bring it on!!


    MADHERO: The whole DCEU is there having a party except Ben Affleck and Henry Cavill because.... well you know


    LARRY: But we do have Sillyman!! I mean, Superman. It's definitely Superman.


    MADHERO: So yeah, should be a fun time. Good to see Friends and Duplo represented. Just one more step till FUCKING BIONICLE


    STICKMAN: GIVE ME BIONICLES OR GIVE ME DEATH.


    WHAT MEN WANT

    DIRECTOR: Adam Shankman (Bedtime Stories, Rock of Ages)

    STARRING: Taraji P. Henson, Aldis Hodge, Tracy Morgan, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Richard Roundtree, Pete Davidson

    SYNOPSIS: A woman (Henson) is boxed out by the male sports agents in her profession, but gains an unexpected edge over them when she develops the ability to hear their thoughts.

    MADHERO: Well this just took a slight turn.


    STICKMAN: A turn right off the cliff.


    LARRY: This is apparently a genuine remake of the Mel Gibson movie and I can't help but laugh. Nobody fucking wanted this lol


    MADHERO: Well now it has a lady reading the minds of men, and obviously its all about how they want to bang Taraji P. Henson, which y'know fair enough.


    LARRY: I mean...hey, that's not too far off.


    STICKMAN: Men, huh? Hooo. Bastards.


    LARRY: Ugh, disgusting men.


    MADHERO: Fuck em. And fuck this movie while we're at it. Or not, maybe its ok. I dunno, I dont really care honestly


    LARRY: It...probably won't be.


    STICKMAN: It looks pretty bad. What's that toast joke about, is this The Simpsons.


    MADHERO: It does, but hey so was the original so they got that going for it.


    THE PRODIGY

    DIRECTOR: Nicholas McCarthy (The Pact, At the Devil’s Door)

    STARRING: Taylor Schilling, Jackson Robert Scott, Colm Feore, Brittany Allen

    SYNOPSIS: A mother (Schilling) concerned about her young son's (Scott) disturbing behavior thinks something supernatural may be affecting him.

    MADHERO: Creepy Kid Horror movie #1 of 2019, followed up soonish by Brightburn.


    STICKMAN: I'd like this to be a good one, but...it's an early 2019 horror movie and despite early buzz seems to be lacking any buzz a week before release soooo...doooooomed?


    LARRY: Eh, I don't think it looks to be subverting any expectations i.e. doooooomed


    MADHERO: There's stories in the press of this movie that is was actually edited in certain parts because it was too scary.


    LARRY: lol. So it's a lose/lose.


    STICKMAN: Oh god, seriously. If that's real, that's bullshit, if it's some stupid PR stunt then that's stupid as fuck.


    MADHERO: Its probably just dumb PR. I've heard some good stories at festivals but its hard to say. At least nice to see Taylor Schilling in something other than Orange is the new Black


    STICKMAN: As is stands, the review embargo is up like two days before release...which means it's probably not awful, but not that great either. But HEY...if you go see it, you'll get to see the trailer for the Child's Play remake...they did...without the creators blessing...to screw over his ongoing Chucky film series they don't have the rights to...oh.


    LARRY: I (don't) love horror.


    COLD PURSUIT

    DIRECTOR: Hans Petter Moland (A Somewhat Gentle Man, In Order of Disappearance)

    STARRING: Liam Neeson, Laura Dern, Emmy Rossum, Tom Bateman, William Forsythe

    SYNOPSIS: Snowplower Nelson Coxman (Neeson) seeks revenge against a drug cartel in his Rocky Mountains hometown after his son is murdered by the gang.

    STICKMAN: Mr Plow, that's my name, that name again is Mr Plow. I will find you, and I will plow you.


    MADHERO: Finally, the gritty Mr. Plow movie we've all been waiting for


    LARRY: Mr. Plow and The Snowman should team up. Would cause quite a stir.


    STICKMAN: God yes. Please.


    MADHERO: Apparently this movie is actually a really fun dark comedy that almost works as a parody of the Neeson action movie and that kinda makes me really interested.


    STICKMAN: Why have they marketed it as some generic bullshit then.


    MADHERO: The trailer I saw had at least some comedic moments, but probably because the action bits sell better


    STICKMAN: Maybe this really is a Mr Plow movie.


    LARRY: I feel like Liam Neeson has a lot to prove if he's gonna make fun of his own persona he has so ruthlessly ingrained into film.


    STICKMAN: He does that in the LEGO Movie though...and LEGO Movie 2...I guess? Out now.


    MADHERO: I mean, he can do comedy. That's been established for a while now. Its just fun to see him do it in a film like this, which is apparently a remake of a Norwegian film, and the same director is making it


    STICKMAN: What a ride. What a SNOW PLOW RIDE.


    LARRY: Eh, I can't say I consider Liam Neeson a comedic talent. And if so, just barely.


    MADHERO: I can't wait for the Mr. Sparkle movie after this.


    MISS BALA

    DIRECTOR: Catherine Hardwicke (Twilight, Miss You Already)

    STARRING: Gina Rodriguez, Ismael Cruz Cordova, Anthony Mackie, Aislinn Derbez,

    SYNOPSIS: Gloria (Rodriguez) finds a power she never knew she had when she is drawn into a dangerous world of cross-border crime.

    LARRY: So apparently this isn't very good.


    MADHERO: O hey, another remake of an foreign language film that I didn't know existed


    STICKMAN: I didn't even know this film existed, let alone the original.


    MADHERO: Same, honestly. Probably a reason why they're dumping this in the Super Bowl weekend.


    STICKMAN: Hide it behind the leather eggs.


    LARRY: I'd just rather watch Gina Rodriguez as Carmen Sandiego tbh.


    MADHERO: Well you can at least hear her do that in the animated series and the live action film will happen soon-ish. So yeah, that's probably gonna be a better attempt than this


    STICKMAN: Dang.


    ------------

    MADHERO: Alright, instead of something overly generic, let's go talk about films we liked on MOVIE OF THE WEEK!


    LARRY: WOW NEW IDEAS


    MADHERO: Very new and exciting, yes. I think we've all got something a little bit different, so that'll be fun


    STICKMAN: We're all doing Venom.


    LARRY: Ummmm. No?


    STICKMAN: Wait...I'm not doing it either.


    MADHERO: Well, I'll guess I'll start with mine then.


    MOVIE OF THE WEEK

    So as per tradition, I went to the IFFR for the third time this year, or the International Film Festival Rotterdam. Now for the longest time, it seemed like I wasn't able to go on account on some major IRL stuff going down, but eventually I did, though I was only really able to see 2 films. One of which was High Life, which didn't really click for me honestly but that's more on me than the film probably. What did click with me a lot more is Zhang Yimou's Shadow, which is a hell of a lot better than The Great Wall was, so you could say that its a return to form.


    The film mainly follows a commander named  Jing, who's actually the "shadow" of the real commander who's been ravaged by a wound that seems to age and weaken him. He must train to defeat a different commander from a warring city so that an invasion can take place, but is everything as it seems? What mostly stands out is how the movie uses the color grey. This is an extremely grey movie but I've never seen it used so beautifully. While the film starts slow, it really gets going once its gets to the action and the color red is introduced, and hoo boy there's lots of it. There's some really great action there and I'll never look at an umbrella the same way. I don't know how you might be able to watch this, but do so if you can


    STICKMAN: Is there any edgy hedgehogs in this.


    MADHERO: God I wish, but no sadly


    STICKMAN: Fuck. You go to this fancy pants film festival but you don't find any hedgehogs. What was the point.


    LARRY: Psh, not High Life? Unsubscribed.


    MADHERO: High Life just didn't do it for me eventually. Sorry. This however was really cool, and I can't undersell just how gorgeous it is


    STICKMAN: I do like me some stylishly muted colour pallets. This sounds like my kinda jam, shame I'll never ever get to see it ever.


    MADHERO: Grey has never been more stylish. And boy does it get bloody in the 2nd half.


    LARRY: ...wait so is the blood gray too? Nothing gets me hornier than well color-corrected violence.


    MADHERO: No, the film is in color. It just uses a lot of grey, black and white.


    STICKMAN: That's hot dude.


    MADHERO: What about your film, Sticky? Is that one hot?


    STICKMAN: No, unless you're into dirty fingers and eating all your meals straight out of the pan with a spatula.


    LARRY: ...who says I'm not? Don't kink shame me.


    Mad may be being a hipster with his international film festival BULLSHIT, but I can't let him steal my glory...so bitch, I'm gonna do a documentary. Okay, okay, it's an Oscar nominated documentary...and okay, I saw it in IMAX...but...documentaries are hipster...right? RIGHT!? Anyway it's Free Solo, a film I hadn't really heard of prior to the nominations being announced for the BAFTAs and Oscars, where it got a nom in both awards' Best Documentary Feature category, but suddenly found out was playing at my local IMAX so...of I went.


    And what can I say, it was really fascinating, jaw-dropping, a little depressing, and a big heap helping of terrifying It's about a guy who climbs up the sides of mountains without any gear or any rope to stop him from plummeting to his death...and it showed in IMAX so...yeah. Butt clench city. Beyond the jaw dropping feats displayed, it's also a melancholic look at the kind of mindset it takes to do these kinda things, and how that 'it's okay if I die tomorrow' mentality plays with his friends and loved ones. A bittersweet but all the same awe-inspiring real life story. Real good stuff.


    LARRY: Sticky, it's not just some mountain. It's EL CAPITAN. THE TALLEST MOUNTAIN IN AMERICA.


    MADHERO: I've heard some really good things about this, including that yes, it is quite the butt clencher


    STICKMAN: I've never heard so many PPHHHHSSSS in an audience before.


    MADHERO: I almost want a bts of the making of this film, because man, that could not have been easy. Distract him and boom, he ded.


    LARRY: Oh, yeah, I saw this too, btw!! And I loved it, made my Top 10 of the year. There are plenty of videos. As a filmmaker, I was more nervous for the cameras. Those things are worth ass-loads of money in insurance.


    MADHERO: Im pretty sure human life is worth a bit more than some expensive cameras


    STICKMAN: It's pretty BTS in the film honestly. Part of the story is the filming, it's pretty unique and interesting.


    LARRY: Yeah I loved how they sorta spotlighted the relationship between Alex, the climber, and the filmmakers. Fascinating stuff.


    MADHERO: Its definitely one I still wanna see in a movie theater. That seems like the best experience.


    STICKMAN: Hell yeah. Nat Geo in IMAX, son.


    LARRY: Ugh, YES. Seeing it in IMAX was such an incredible experience. You see every damn grain on those rock formations.


    MADHERO: What about you, Larry. What's your Movie of the Week? Does it involve climbing dangerous mountains as well?


    I'm gonna keep this short and sweet since I not only reviewed this movie not-too-many episodes ago but also named it #5 on my Top 5 films of 2018, which it remains to this day. "Widows," Steve McQueen's latest masterwork, was completely shunned from the golden naked men ceremony this year, which is a real shame because the level of filmmaking here is just exquisite.


    From the countless long shots to the compelling character framing to the intense final act, McQueen truly is a versatile filmmaker and he's made something truly wonderful. If you slept on "Widows" last year, please do yourself a favor and get on this.


    MADHERO: I still haven't seen this sadly so you can blame me for its snubbing


    LARRY: SHAME, MAD. SHAME.


    STICKMAN: I had mixed feelings on this as we've previously established, but the performances especially feel like a big oversight on the Academy's behalf, given worse films are up for Best Picture.


    MADHERO: I'm sorry that I didn't have a lot of time in the period that it came out, ok. I'll try and catch it now that its easily avaliable


    LARRY: Well DO IT.


    STICKMAN: It's got a dog in it, A DOG.


    MADHERO: The dog from Game Night in fact. And ok, Shia. I'll try now that I have more time on my hands. Its a shame the Academy didn't care for it as much. Better luck next time, McQueen


    LARRY: Wait, really? It's the same dog? He must have a damn good agent.


    STICKMAN: Yeah boi. It does feel weird to follow up winning Best Picture with something that didn't  get a single Oscar nomination. But there you go.


    ---------

    MADHERO: I think that about wraps everything up. Hope you're all able to recover from that Rams/Pats loss and all those boneless chicken wings or whatever, because next episode we once again dive headfirst into the world of anime adaptations, and boy that's always a treat. Also dragons.


    STICKMAN: I want chicken wings. And HTTYD 3 came out like two days ago here so that's weird. Oh well.


    LARRY: Moral of this episode? Go watch Widows and 12 Years a Slave. That's all I got out of it anyway.


    MADHERO: That and chicken wings are good. We just established this. On that moral lesson, we bid you adieu


    STICKMAN: I wonder what dragon wings taste like. Okay bye.


    LARRY: Adios muchachos.

  • The kid who would be king

    2 weeks ago

    Koratics

    Went and saw that one this evening; thought it was a nifty kids' movie despite the various hogwash plot points earlier in the film. My favorite part was probably Merlin's introduction.


    Stonehenge flashes, a gentle upbeat tune starts up, and there's a guy walking butt naked through an open field, ladida

  • At the Screwvies: Episode 126

    3 weeks ago

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    MADHERO: FUCK YOU ITS JANUARY! And boy do we feel it, with only 4 films to talk about today, though all of them may have some interesting talking points. But hey, there is news. Holy shit is there a lot of news. Last episode there was barely any, and now we're bursting at the seems with it. Shows how January can fuck you up in different ways.


    LARRY: 2019 already off to a zany start... It's so friggen cold.


    STICKMAN: January is the month of suuuper important births so I mean. It's got that going for it. Also it's cold.


    MADHERO: Boy howdy is it chilly. Good time to stay on your cozy couch with a cup of tea reading the important entertainment news. That or watch something Netflix, which is more likely but anywaaaaay.


    NEWS

    FIRST TRAILER OF SPIDER-MAN FAR FROM HOME RELEASED.

    2018 was a pretty damn great year for all the Spiderboys and girls out there. He had a big role in Infinity War, crumbling into dust begging to not go, which in most cases would be pretty good, but we also got Spider-Verse, the amazing PS4 game and I guess you can count Venom, which was a good time for Sony shareholders. Now, the ride continues with the debut trailer for Homecoming sequel Far From Home, to which many go..... wait what how? Why isn't he dust? Is this before Infinity War? Nothing related to Infinity War or Endgame is mentioned,  but Kevin Feige has stated the film starts literally minutes after Endgame.


    Needless to say, after that whole being dead thing, Peter decides to go on vacation to Europe with his school, meaning we're getting a Spidey movie not set in New York. Homecoming played with this with the DC scene, but its nice to see the wallcrawler in the likes of Venice and London, with references to Prague and the Swiss Alps on the first poster. But besides Spidey, the internet has got decidedly thirsty for Jake Gyllenhaal's Mysterio, who appears with fishbowl helmet and everything, fighting off what seem to be Hydro Man and Sandman, with Mysterio apparently being recruited by Nick Fury, who's also very much alive. All in all, a fun trailer that's making me excited for more of the Spiderd Man. Now let him come to Amsterdam, please. That'd be fun


    STICKMAN: My Spidey boy coming to Londunshire.


    MADHERO: THE FISHBOWL HELMET LIVES!!!!!


    STICKMAN: FISH BOWL FISH BOWL FISH BOWL.


    LARRY: And it looks ravishing.


    STICKMAN: Being a Spider-Fan in 2017-2019 sure is a lot better than being one in 2012-2014.


    MADHERO: Its probably not gonna be there much considering they pay to have Gyllenhaal's face but hey, its acknowledged, and Mysterio's suit in general looks pretty damn good I'll say. Not the easiest thing to adapt


    LARRY: And Mysterio looks awesome, giving off some good ol' Syndrome vibes, tryna be the hero with his elementals. And apparently the MJ/Peter relationship is gonna be developed more, which could be good. Could be bad. We'll see.


    MADHERO: I wasn't expecting much in the way of Avengers references, but its funny how it seems to completely ignore it entirely. I'd imagine this movie wouldn't be coming out so close to Avengers if Sony wasn't technically making this


    STICKMAN: I can imagine Sony were more keen to crank the sequel out ASAP than Marvel were. Still...will be a nice, fun follow-up to the no doubt soul destroying END GAME.


    LARRY: I think, by the time this film comes out, we're gonna wanna move on from Endgame and sorta wipe the slate clean for new adventures, so I'm not surprised this doesn't address much.


    MADHERO: I do really like Spidey's big Eurotrip as a concept. Now if only he'll come to Amsterdam, damn it. Or Rotterdam, that at least has skyscrapers to swing off of.


    LARRY: That's the plot of the third movie.


    LIONSGATE RELEASES FIRST TRAILER FOR JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3: PARABELLUM

    Before 2014, if you'd told me people were going to be excited for the third and final installment of a Keanu Reeves action franchise, I'd of told you to shut the fuck up. That was before John Wick made his way onto the scene, dead dog in tow, and pencil'd the fuck out of a buncha dudes. The sequel was basically better in every conceivable way and left things on a very tantalising cliffhanger, which is being resolved this year in JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3: PArapll..aprprebllum? Never mind, it's just John Wick Chapter 3 guys, let's ignore that last bit. 


    We've known about this for a while, mind...but this week we finally got our first look at the film, and Wick in action...and hot damn if it doesn't look awesome. Continuing the neon drenched, gun-fu escapades of the previous two movies, but now with additional horse chases and motorbike sword fights....all set to a somewhat epic soundtrack, teasing the return of Morpheus as...whoever he is in the John Wick films, and also the debut of Halle Berry as GIRL WITH ATTACK DOGS. HELLLL YEAH. I'm very excited to see John Wick murder some people with a buncha things.


    STICKMAN: Hell yeah.....Give this to me now. I want to see John Wick shoot people on a horse ASAP.


    LARRY: Man I gotta watch these movies...


    MADHERO: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE JOHN WICK MOVIES, LARRY?!


    LARRY: Nope. And now I have an excuse to do so. I did see one scene from one of them involving a woman shooting a man in the head through a pillow and the feathers all flew out. That was amazing.


    STICKMAN: The first John Wick was pretty good, but the sequel really cranked everything up to 11. I'm very excited to seeeeee what this one's like.


    MADHERO: Now he seems ready for some book on guy action. And Halle Berry gets to join the fun


    STICKMAN: Halle Berry and her ATTACK DOG SQUAD. There's a lot of great executions in John Wick, and they film them so you can actually tell what's happening too. It was the antidote to Taken 3 we were all waiting for.


    MADHERO: Also, the posters for this film have been pretty spectacular as well. Its really great to see how far this series has come after the first was mostly a festival hit


    LARRY: Yeah I've heard nothing but good things, so I'll definitely marathon through them.


    STICKMAN: I'm already waiting outside the cinema to watch John Wick pencil some more people in.


    MADHERO: Keep your pet near you, Larry. You'll need him/her


    STICKMAN: Oh god. OH GOD.


    LARRY: Not a pets person myself.


    STICKMAN: Well you'll be fine then.


    SKYDANCE HIRES FORMER DISNEY/PIXAR CHIEF JOHN LASSETER TO LEAD THEIR ANIMATION DIVISION. CONTROVERSY SOON FOLLOWS.

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    Aw geez. What the fuck, 2019? Ugh, alright, so we all remember when John Lasseter, one of Pixar Animation's golden boys, was accused of sexual harassment during his tenure at the studio. As such, he took a leave of absence to atone, and eventually it was announced he would leave the company come 2019. And he did! But, the world is unfair, so his rightful unemployment didn't last particularly long. Earlier this month, Lasseter was announced to be the new head of Skydance Animation, and you can imagine how bloody well that went over, both in-house and online.


    At a company town hall, Skydance CEO David Ellison assured everyone that they did an extensive background check on Lasseter AND that many female members of their senior leadership were on board. Lasseter himself received criticism at a second town hall with him in attendance, insisting that he has learned from his mistakes, though, according to sources, he was still generally vague. Paramount Animation, with whom Skydance has a close relationship, has already stated that they won’t work together as long as Lasseter, so that’s how well that all went.


    MADHERO: What else can I say but YIKES


    LARRY: Eugh. David Ellison, we're voting you off the island.


    STICKMAN: Read the room, Skydannnace. Fuckin' hell.


    MADHERO: From a business perspective, yeah I totally get hiring the guy who directed Toy Story and made Pixar what it is today, as well as the guy who revived Disney Animation to the powerhouse they are, but there's an important human element here


    STICKMAN: Nobody is denying John Lasseter has made a huge impact on animation, and made some great films himself...but it's just...stupid.


    LARRY: Reputation-wise, you're fucked. The entire company now lacks trust in its CEO and every fucking woman who works there is gonna be uncomfortable.


    STICKMAN: He may not have been as bad as Kevin Spacey, but he was still a prolific and consistent harasser of women to the point where such behaviour became epidemic in Pixar itself. A slap on the wrist from Disney, still being credited (And presumably paid) for work on this year's Disney releases....and THEN he gets a cushy new job with Skydance? Fuck. Where's the punishment. Where's the progress.


    MADHERO: I do think there's progress in the sense that there has been such a stink. Paramount Animation doesn't want to work with them, and they have a first look deal with Skydance. That at least shows this isn't going to be taken lightly


    STICKMAN: I don't even feel like Lasseter atoned for his misdeeds either, he just faded from public life for a year whilst his Disney paychecks kept rolling in, and then  he coasted into another leadership role. Sort your shit out, Hollywood, it ain't right.


    LARRY: Less than a year after leaving. It's disgusting...


    MADHERO: We can do a lot better than this, and we'll see what Skydance does in the process, but this is a pretty major misstep in my mind. 


    JASON REITMAN TO DIRECT NEW GHOSTBUSTERS MOVIE THAT’LL TAKE PLACE IN ORIGINAL CANON. TEASER ALREADY RELEASED

    Well this came outta nowhere. For those that have forgotten THE DISCOURSE regarding Ghostbusters.... boy do I envy you. The way the Paul Feig reboot was talked about and the sheer ferocity of the dislike for that film's very existence, mostly related to its all-women cast and its status as a clean slate, was pretty goddamn tiring. It made it a real shame that the film wasn't all that good and didn't manage to break even. Its hard to say whether that was cause of the discourse, but I guess we don't really need to worry about that now, cause Sony's going back to the drawing board, and its bringing someone familiar.


    Seemingly out of nowhere, its been revealed that Jason Reitman, son of original Ghostbusters director Ivan Reitman (he also cameo'd in Ghostbusters 2), will be directing a new film in the series that will take place in the original timeline, albeit 30-35 years later.  This was then shortly tied with a teaser trailer, which shows the Ecto-1 and a Summer 2020 release date. It makes sense honestly, Sony has seen success with legacy sequels with Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle and has done the same with Men in Black: International, and Reitman has proven himself a very capable director over the years. The details remain sparse, with it reportedly centering around 4 teens (2 boys and 2 girls) in a small town rather than New York. As someone non-nostalgic for Ghostbusters, I just hope THE DISCOURSE pipes down. I can't take much more.


    STICKMAN: Yipppeeee? Ghostbusters is weird, the first film is a classic but nothing else since has worth its salt.


    MADHERO: I ain't afraid of no ghost, except the one that'll return if its anything like the 2016 one


    LARRY: I mean, I'm down for an actual, in-canon sequel to Ghostbusters...but Reitman has only ever tackled grounded indie comedies. I feel like this is coming from him by default


    STICKMAN: It makes a good selling point for the film. The whole generational handing off thing.


    MADHERO: I don't feel that's entirely fair and I say that whos been down on Jason Reitman in recent years. The Russo's had only done a Owen Wilson comedy and Community episode before tackling Winter Soldier. So y'know, he could do it.


    LARRY: That's fair. I dunno, I'm just holding my breath, is all. Reitman has only made one solid film in the last like...ten years, so. I dunno, it's a hard sell.


    MADHERO: Plus its a good story of him taking over the mantle from his dad. I believe he'd had always been reluctant to do that


    STICKMAN: It's another Sony franchise launching attempt as well. The house of bad ideas.


    LARRY: It feels like Reitman is only doing this because it's in his blood and he's the only guy who can write and basically have permission to do it lol


    MADHERO: I can't say I need another Ghostbusters in my life, but then it was never something I was nostalgic about.


    LARRY: Yeah, anything that wipes 2016 off the board is fine in my book.


    STICKMAN: The original ain't even aged well, Bill Murray creeping on Sigourney Weaver ain't a good look in 2019. Less of that in the new one, lads.


    MADHERO: Lets exorcise this and move on


    CHRIS MCQUARRIE SIGNS ON FOR TWO MISSION IMPOSSIBLE MOVIES THAT WILL BE SHOT BACK TO BACK AND RELEASE IN SUMMER 2021 AND 2022.

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    Although it may have lacked the explosive cultural talking points of 2018's biggest releases (Both of which by Marvel), it's fair to say that Mission Impossible Fallout was still a fucking smash hit, the sixth installment in the MI franchise that, against all known science continues to go from strength to strength, was a huge critical and commercial success, and even had the honour of featuring in our Screwvies Awards last episode so...uh...YEH, it's pretty good guys. With all this success, and it being a franchise, comes along the obvious question of "When's the next one out, then?" and this week we got the answer to that question...and then some.


    Christopher McQuarrie, director of both the fifth and sixth installments of the franchise, will be returning to direct not one, but two sequels, filming back to back for release in 2021 and 2022 respectively. Presumably these two films will directly connect to each other, but I'd imagine they'll avoid the Part 1/Part 2 naming conventions, ala Avengers. Given Mission Impossible as a franchise had five different directors for five consecutive films across a period of 19 years at one stage, it's remarkable to think that Mission Impossible 7 and 8 will be McQuarries third and fourth installment at the helm, but he and Tom Cruise work really well together. You certainly can't argue with what he's done with the series, mind...and I for one am very excited to see if they can actually equal, or even top Fallout.


    MADHERO: I'm conflicted cause MI letting different type of directors add their spin was always fun and now that's gone but also YEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!


    LARRY: Yeah I'm on that boat too.


    STICKMAN: I'm fine with this dude doing more if he keeps up the quality of the last two.


    MADHERO: Pretty much. Rogue Nation and Fallout were so fucking good that I'm ready for a double dose of that


    LARRY: I think McQuarrie is good but I'm also in the minority that I felt the story of Fallout wasn't as good as either Ghost Protocol or Rogue Nation.


    STICKMAN: You are in the minority yes. Him and Cruise seem to gel together very well and they need all this time for his space-training for when they launch him into the fucking sun in IMAX 3D.


    MADHERO: They have to launch him into space now. That's about the only thing they can do to up the ante.


    LARRY: It was cool how MI had different directors all the time, it added to the different styles at play. I just hope McQuarrie just keeps shaking things up.


    STICKMAN: Doing two back to back concerns me slightly, the semi-infrequent but reliably solid nature of Mission Impossible has always been a plus point. Fallout felt like the culmination of stuff that started in MI3 so I don't really know what they've got planned for two simultaneous sequels except money.


    MADHERO: I do feel like that's probably gonna be the end-point, if only cause Tom Cruise will be 60 by the time 8 comes out in 2022. At some point he can no longer outrun everyone


    LARRY: Yeah it sorta felt like two trilogies happened. So now it'll kinda just be two more movies. I wouldn't be opposed to a Part I/Part II-esque structure so long as it flows well.


    STICKMAN: The final Mission Impossible film will just be Tom Cruise nursing his chronic arthritis and then getting into a car chase  with Prince Phillip.


    LARRY: Fine by me. That's certainly a shake-up.


    MADHERO: Ah, so that's what he was doing with that Land Rover. I'd still watch it cause McQuarrie has a way to make things compelling. Fallout was one of my favorite films of the year, so I'll gladly take more


    SONY’S SCREEN GEMS PICKS UP RIGHTS TO MAKE MOVIE OF UBISOFT’S JUST DANCE

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    So, while we all like to make fun of Just Dance and it's pleb-ness, sometimes we forget just how many plebs still play the ol' vidja garmes. The series is incredibly popular on all three major consoles and is still producing games for its 120 million players worldwide, and now, ScreenGems is going to take that success and slap it onto the silver screen. Yes, Just Dance is going to be a movie, with Ubisoft and Olive Branch Entertainment developing the project alongside producers Jodi Hildebrand and Will Gluck (known currently for....Peter Rabbit, alright). Though Gluck has directed before, according to Deadline, he will not be directing this, so the search is on. 


    Apparently this is a big deal for Sony, who have many of their most beloved artists featured in the Just Dance games already, so it works out. Expect a video game tie-in to the movie as well, I suppose. I dunno, as stupid as this sounds on paper, it's probably going to make serious bank seeing as it'll likely be Step Up but with better music, more celebrities, and a ton of beautiful, hot people. Perhaps Just Dance will be the film to break the video game curse....eugh....


    STICKMAN: Here it is. The biggest movie of all time.


    MADHERO: Hell yeaaaaaaaah. Finally the panda man will make his cinematic debut. That or whatever other wacky thing they show at E3


    STICKMAN: PANDA MAN PANDA MAN FISH BOWL PANDA MAN


    LARRY: Honestly, what with Tetris and Monopoly getting movies, we shoulda seen this coming.


    MADHERO: Add in Goose the Cat and we're set. I guess I can see why they're doing it. A good dance movie can rake in some dough and Just Dance is Ubisoft's 2nd best selling franchise behind Assassin's Creed.


    LARRY: And we all know that ain't goin anywhere cinematically so.


    STICKMAN: I hope it ties into Assassin's Creed and it's Michael Fassbender giving up a life of murder in favour of dancing. He IS the Panda Man.


    MADHERO: The Ubisoft Cinematic Universe is upon us soon. The UCU


    LARRY: Can't wait for the dance-along-in-theaters version.


    --------

    MADHERO: Alright. We'd normally move on to the movies now, but SURPRISE BITCH, THERE'S TOO MUCH NEWS! Even if we ended on quite the high note, we couldnt just ignore everything so we'll do a quick lightning round.


    STICKMAN: AAAAAAAHHH


    LARRY: Heeeeeere weeeeee gooooOOoOOoOOOoOoo


    LIGHTNING ROUND

    LEE UNKRICH LEAVES PIXAR

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    Well this came outta nowhere. Acclaimed director Lee Unkrich, best known for his directing work on Toy Story 3 and Coco, has decided to leave Pixar after spending nearly 25 years there. Starting out as an editor of Toy Story, he worked his way up to be a co-director for Toy Story 2 and Finding Nemo, as well as become one of the main members of the Pixar braintrust. He's not leaving to go work on another company, but rather to spend more time with his family, which is fair enough. We wish him nothing but the best.


    STICKMAN: This is a bummmerrrr, but whatever does him best. He's been around since almost the start, and he's been a very underrated big part of Pixar's success...so yeah, wish he'd done a little more, but hey ho. Looking forward to that The Shining remake or something.


    MADHERO: Real bummer that he's going, but he's doing it for family and I can respect that. Thanks for Toy Story 3 especially.


    LARRY: A true Pixar visionary. I think he's earned some time off haha.


    DISNEY TO REMAKE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME

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    Add this to the pile. Disney continues to go and remake their entire animated line-up, this time in the form of 1996's The Hunchback of Notre Dame. However, this won't just take from the animated movie, but also more from Victor Hugo's original novel. Alan Menken and Steven Schwartz will be writing new music, and Josh Gad is attached to only produce so far, but we all kinda know where this is going to lead, and there are worse casting choices out there I guess. Details are still rather scarce, so we have no idea when it'll come out, but it could be awhile with all those remakes.


    STICKMAN: AaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHH. I just need to diIIiiEEE.


    MADHERO: I just want to see the gargoyles in live action even though everyone hates them. I need to see uncomfortably detailed George Constanza gargoyle lose to a bird in a game of cards.


    LARRY: If they take inspiration from the immaculate stage version of the source material, I have zero complaints. Menken and Schwartz already somehow made the already great film even greater on stage, so god I hope they can do it again, but on film.


    COMING TO AMERICA TO GET A SEQUEL AFTER MORE THAN 30 YEARS. MOST OF CAST TO RETURN

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    Legacy sequels are in right now, and 80s nostalgia will never be allowed to die. We already talked Ghostbusters but earlier in the week this trend took a weirder form in the announcement of a sequel to Eddie Murphy's 1988 classic Coming to America . That film had him play an African prince, well, coming to America  and falls in love with a girl there. A sequel had been in the pipeline for a while now, but is now officially happening with director Craig Brewster, who worked with Eddie Murphy on the upcoming Netflix movie Dolemite is My Name. Besides Murphy, Arsenio Hall, James Earl Jones and Shari Headly are returning to their roles. So yeah, that's happening


    STICKMAN: I have no strong feelings about this one way or the other.


    LARRY: I'm for it, Coming to America is a great movie and to see so many of the original cast members hop on board has me hopeful.


    MADHERO: As long as Samuel L. Jackson returns as the criminal who robs the not-McDonalds, I'm cool with this. Expecting lots of Black Panther jokes


    DAN TRACHTENBERG (10 CLOVERFIELD LANE) TO DIRECT UNCHARTED MOVIE

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    Boy this Uncharted movie has been in development for a while now, hasn't it? I still remember when David O. Russell was attached and we'd have Mark Wahlberg play Nathan Drake and Robert de Niro as Sully back in high school, but that was all dropped and since then directors have come and gone, with Shawn Levy leaving and now being replaced by Dan Trachtenberg. Now this is a pretty exciting pick with Trachtenberg getting his start with a Portal fan film, and having since done Black Mirror's Playtest and the excellent 10 Cloverfield Lane. Tom Holland is still attached to play a young version of the character.


    STICKMAN: Ooohh...okaaaayy. Started from the Portal fan film now we here.


    MADHERO: There was an video of him in 2007 talking about the first Uncharted and how he'd like to direct the film version and now here we are. Spooky. Tom Holland's casting is still weird though


    LARRY: Not sure about Holland, but hey, I'm glad to see this film still exists.


    STICKMAN: I want to see the Subway advert brought to live action reality.


    TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES MOVIES TO BE REBOOTED

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    If things stop making money but the brand is still very valuable, you have to keep trying. The last two TMNT movies are known to be quite divisive among fans. The first one was a complete mess edited at the last minute and tried really really hard to be like the Bayformers. The second movie took a lot more inspiration from the 80s series, even adding the likes of Krang, Bebop and Rocksteady and a more appropriate Shredder. However, better reviews did not lead to better box office, and the film was a commercial disappointment. Now though, Platinum Dunes is gonna try again. Andrew Dodge (Bad Words) is writing the script, and production is hoping to start at the end of the year. Hopefully it'll learn some of the lessons learned from Bumblebee


    STICKMAN: Bebop and Rocksteady are one reboot away from ending up in a weird fetish compendium along with Venom, Thanos and the robot from Lost in Space.


    MADHERO: As long as they aren't an over-designed mess, this can only get better I feel. Again, look at Bumblebee and keep it simple and hopefully then we can get a decent TMNT movie.  I wouldnt say no to that


    LARRY: It looked like Out of the Shadows was kinda Bumblebee-esque in its incorporation of classic characters, so hopefully they follow suit. Just make the turtles less butt-ugly, Jesus.


    -----------

    MADHERO: Alright, I think that about does it. Now as mentioned, we've only got about 4 movies to cover, and one of those is M. Night Shyamalan's Glass, the long awaited follow up to both Unbreakable, which some consider one of his best films and Split, which some consider his comeback after about a decade a trash. The reviews have been.... divisive to say the least, but audiences seem to dig it somewhat more. But hey, why not just ask Larry, since he's seen it.


    LARRY: Oh hey, that's me.


    STICKMAN: Is it the sequel to The Happening we've all been waiting for.


    MADHERO: A lot's riding on this Larry. Many people put this as their most anticipated film and some were left quite disappointed. So Larry, where do you stand on Glass?


    REVIEW

    GLASS

    DIRECTOR: M. Night Shyamalan (Unbreakable, Split)

    STARRING: Bruce Willis, James McAvoy, Samuel L. Jackson, Sarah Paulson, Anya Taylor Joy

    SYNOPSIS: David Dunn (Willis) pursues Kevin Wendell Crumb's (McAvoy) superhuman persona of The Beast in a series of escalating encounters while the shadowy presence of Elijah Price (Jackson), going by 'Mr. Glass', emerges as an orchestrator who holds secrets critical to both men.

    LARRY: Well, I'm certainly not deep in the naysaying as some other critics are. Overall, I found "Glass" very entertaining and I liked it...for the most part. I think the performances are really solid, I think the way in which all the characters intertwine is relatively smooth, and the low-budget, more methodical filmmaking on display (long takes, letting dialogue breathe, no spectacle-driven action) was really fascinating to watch, especially as a fan of both "Unbreakable" and "Split."


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    I think, ultimately, where it stumbles is sorta the slowness of the second act and the classic Shyamalanian twists that parade through the ending with the grace of a bulldozer. Yeah, if you're not a fan of the "WHAT A TWIST"-ness of M. Night's work, the last twenty minutes or so of this film is gonna piss you off tremendously. There is more than one "twist" (I use that because one of them isn't really a twist at all, though the film acts like it is), and they all sorta stack on top of one another and kinda undermine each other in the process. Still, it's a well-crafted film technically and visually, but I would definitely call this the weakest of the trilogy.


    STICKMAN: Does Bruce Willis do anything, like...I've heard nothing about him. I feel like he maybe dies really early on or something.


    LARRY: He's certainly there, and his performance is really solid. But...yeah, out of the three, he arguably plays the smallest role in the story.


    STICKMAN: Which is odd since he's the hero...you'd think.


    LARRY: Well, the lines aren't drawn so clearly. The entire trilogy has really muddied up what a "hero" is.


    MADHERO: Well it makes sense since its the less showy role. Despite ranking it the lowest in the trilogy, do you think it does some things better than the other films?


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    LARRY: I mean...I dunno, I wouldn't say anything here is particularly stronger than either of the first two. I guess seeing the chemistry between McAvoy and Jackson is a real treat, if that counts. Cuz...yeah, McAvoy is still really, really fucking good. And again, all the characters sorta come together here, and it's fascinating to see how M. Night has connected the dots.


    STICKMAN: I found him annoying in Split, has he toned down or toned up, and I don't mean those abs.


    LARRY: My go-to answer, Sticky, is toned up cuz we see a LOT more Beast in this film, he's basically a central player.


    MADHERO: He does get to show off a whole lot with all those different personalities. Do we get to see any new ones?


    STICKMAN: Is one of his personas Charles Xavier and this is secretly  an X-Men film?


    LARRY: Hmm...I dunno, Mad. I honestly don't remember if we see any here that we didn't in Split. I would assume no since he retains the same number of personalities scientifically.


    MADHERO: What about its title character? Does he get to do anything fun?


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    LARRY: Well, as reviews have pointed out, Glass is largely absent/sedated for a large portion of this film. It isn't much later on in the film that he starts really taking action, and....yeah, I mean it's Samuel L. muthafuckin' Jackson, he's excellent and has a lot of fun with the character. Once his plan starts getting in motion, it's engaging for sure.


    STICKMAN: Does he fall down any stairs


    LARRY: LOL, nope, but he still takes quite a beating.


    MADHERO: I guess we can't really talk about the story or any of the TWEESTS that may occur, so is there anything you want to get out there or should we wrap up?


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    LARRY: I guess I would say that you shouldn't let the naysayers dictate this film as some striking disappointment in M. Night's career or something. I think he's a talented filmmaker, his storytelling is just a tad bloated at times. I think this is a really solid movie, just the weakest of the three. But I think people going in, not having knowledge of the other movies, will like it.


    STICKMAN: The naysayers. What is this, a review of Gotti?


    MADHERO: We've suffered through The Last Airbender and The Happening. We can take it. But anyway, I think we'll take a look at what other treats January is providing this week and next


    LARRY: Oh yeah, it's nowhere NEAR as bad as those. My god.


    STICKMAN: Whaaat?! NoOoOo! Noooo mAaAAa'am.


    -----------

    MADHERO: What is it, Sticky? Are you scared to talk about.....anime?


    STICKMAN: VERY. AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAGGH


    LARRY: ANIMEEEEEE! RUN FOR YA LIFE


    MOVIES

    DRAGON BALL SUPER: BROLY

    DIRECTOR: Tatsuya Nagamine (Dragon Ball Super)

    STARRING: Sean Schemmel, Chris Sabat, Vic Mignogna, Chris Ayers, Sonny Strait

    SYNOPSIS: Goku and Vegeta (Schemmel, Sabat) encounter Broly (Mignogna), a Saiyan warrior unlike any fighter they've faced before.

    STICKMAN: Brolly is slang for Umbrella. You can stand under my umbrella. Ella. Ella. Eh? Eh? Eh?


    MADHERO: Well good thing, cause Broly has about as much personality as one. Or rather I guess the original non-canon version now. I've heard this one gets quite more development


    LARRY: This is a surprisingly popular release here in the states. Like...a LOT of people are seeing it, even non-Dragon Ball fans.


    STICKMAN: 90s nostalgia, Larry. It knows no bounds.


    LARRY: Okay but when you've never watched a single episode of Dragon Ball and you go into Broly?? Weird.


    MADHERO: Why is it surprising? Dragon Ball is still big and one of the biggest animes around, even to this day with Super. Plus you can go in for the awesome anime battles. Dragon Ball ain't exactly complicated


    STICKMAN: Dragon Ball is something I'll never understand, like wrestling and Republicans.


    LARRY: I dunno, I just didn't expect it to do well against the other blockbusters. It felt like a niche release. I guess I underestimated Dragon Ball's fanbase.


    MADHERO: A whole stadium in Mexico cheered during the final episode of Super like it was a football match. Dragon Ball is as massive as Broly's muscles when he goes Legendary Super Saiyan, which is very big.


    STICKMAN: Legendary Super Duper Extra Pooper Saiyan Extreme.


    MADHERO: Now that'd I'd watch in the theater. But alas.


    THE KID WHO WOULD BE KING

    DIRECTOR: Joe Cornish (Attack the Block)

    STARRING: Louis Serkis, Tom Taylor, Rebecca Ferguson, Angus Imrie, Patrick Stewart

    SYNOPSIS: A band of kids (Serkis, Taylor) embark on an epic quest to thwart a medieval menace (Ferguson).

    STICKMAN: I feel like I should be more excited for this than I am, which is a sign maybe it's not gonna be so hot.


    MADHERO: My guess this is more in the January slot because Fox is pretty certain it'll flop, and yeah it probably will, which is a bummer cause its great to see Joe Cornish finally direct something again


    STICKMAN: Yeah, Attack the Block is a real gem.


    LARRY: Yeah, it's been getting solid reviews, but there's been like...no marketing for it. All I've seen are online ads.


    STICKMAN: I didn't know it was out. I saw one trailer on Youtube and that's it.


    MADHERO: Plus its supposed to be pretty good, which is nice. I feel like it was made and then they were like "fuck, we've got no stars and its too British so I guess we're boned"


    STICKMAN: Maybe it'll do better when it releases here.


    MADHERO: I've got the feeling this has cult classic all over it.


    STICKMAN: I'd watch it...if I knew when it was out. They sent it out to die to the point where even those few who would see it can't. GOOD STUFF.


    LARRY: My friend wants to go see it at some point, so perhaps I may, but with school starting up again....oy, it'll be difficult.


    MADHERO: Sorry, Joe. Hopefully your next film won't take 6 years to be made.


    SERENITY

    DIRECTOR: Steven Knight (Hummingbird, Locke)

    STARRING: Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hatheway, Diane Lane, Jason Clarke, Djimon Honsou

    SYNOPSIS: The mysterious past of a fishing boat captain (McConaughey) comes back to haunt him, when his ex-wife (Hatheway) tracks him down with a desperate plea for help

    STICKMAN: Hey this already came out back in 2005.


    MADHERO: I know. Pretty weird to rerelease it and add Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hatheway and remove all the space stuff, but hey, first new Firefly stuff in well over a decade.


    LARRY: This is a strange one, ain't it.


    STICKMAN: Matthew Mcohonohey hey heeeyyy seems to be the king of dramas that crash and burn immediately at the moment.


    MADHERO: Yeah, this film was delayed a whole bunch of times and hasn't had any reviews yet so my guess is this has January release alllll over it. Which is a shame cause its got a bit of a Hitchcockian vibe in the trailer and the cast is great


    LARRY: Yeah I'm sensing it like...seemed like a great film when it got cast and then something happened in the editing room and it's shit now.


    MADHERO: Yeah. I feel this probably had Oscar hopes or at least the hopes to be the next Gone Girl or something, but it seems to be for naught.


    LARRY: The cast is awesome. Shame to see McConaughey has sorta lost momentum as a "srs actr"


    STICKMAN: Ah man, Gone Girl , can we watch that instead.


    -------------

    MADHERO: Fraid not, because its not part of MOVIE OF THE WEEEEEEEEEK


    STICKMAN: wAaaAAAAAAGGHH


    LARRY: WOWZA THE MOTW


    MADHERO: Yep, its that time again. If none of these movies suit you, you can just go on VOD or buy a DVD to watch whatever is out now. And hey, unlike the rest of Fuck You Its January, you're almost guarenteed some good stuff here.


    LARRY: Yeet.


    MADHERO: For saying that you need to start first


    STICKMAN: A fitting punishment.


    MOVIE OF THE WEEK

    So, my MOTW is one that I had been meaning to see for weeks now, and that is "Bumblebee," the first of six Transformers films thus far to ditch Michael Bay, add in a little Travis Knight, and get the series back in touch with its 80’s roots. Does it succeed? Well, in some ways, yes! Hell, the first fifteen minutes alone come closer to capturing the spirit of Transformers than Michael Bay ever did in his five stinkin' tries. The robot designs are awesome, the humor is kinda cheesy but very charming, and the action scenes are less spectacle-driven and more focused on the god damn Transformers combat.

    Plus, you got lots of fun 80's music and 80's production design, which I'm a sucker for. The film is also just...I dunno, less gross and dumb; a lot of Bay's signature bullshit is gone, and wouldn't ya know it, once all that shit is wiped away, you can actually see the appeal of this franchise...weird. Now, obviously it's no masterpiece, but it was a fun time at the theater, and showcases the potential of quality, wholesome material from this franchise once you drop all the dead weight


    MADHERO: I saw this too and y'all gotta support the Bee. Its the.....cat's pyjamas


    STICKMAN: The Bees pyjeemees.


    LARRY: Those first fifteen minutes? *chef’s kiss*


    STICKMAN: I didn't know what was going on but it looked nice.


    MADHERO: Cybertron movie wheeeeeen. But I also really liked the relationship Bumblebee and Charlie, even if it was just Iron Giant in a 80s setting.


    STICKMAN: It is just The Iron Giant but with less of the weird boy.


    LARRY: Yeah I guess I'm just not over the moon about it cuz it felt reminiscent of most girl/pet relationships. Except it's a robot. HE'S TREATED LIKE A DOG IN THIS FILM. LIKE. HE'S A PET.


    STICKMAN: HE'S A GOOD BOY.


    MADHERO: Bumblebee can get it. As mentioned in the TMNT story, I really hope other filmmakers look at this and see what can be done. Just.... ignore the lesser box office for a bit. Pretty please.


    STICKMAN: He can get whatever he wants. Travis Knight come back to LAIKA now.


    LARRY: Yeah, guys, Travis Knight fucking gets it, guys.


    MADHERO: Alright. Sticky what's your MOTW?


    STICKMAN: WELLLL, my MOTW comes with a journey, my friends. Upgrade, a somewhat under the radar, destined to be cult sci-fi/action/body horror flick from the folks at Blumhouse, came out in the US early in Summer 2018...it did okay at the box office, and the reviews were pretty glowing. 4-5 months later and it finally released in the UK...but in like, two cinemas. Another 4-5 months later and it finally released on DVD...I've finally seen it....and yeah, I liked it quite a bit.

    A slick and cool sci-fi thriller with a fun premise, moments of entertainingly brutal hyperviolence, and a fun mix of comedy moments and dark themes, Upgrade , without spoiling the specifics of the plot, is everything you want from a semi-low budget original genre movie, really. It looks great too, and has one hell of a killer ending. If you're not into body horror, this is probably not for you, but if you want to see THE GUY FROM PROMETHEUS WHO GETS THE WORM IN HIS EYE fight robot hybrid people with his super duper body control chip? Here's the film.


    MADHERO: Pffft. Upgrade? Who needs that when you have Venom, which is definitely the same thing


    STICKMAN: It's Venom but less gay.


    LARRY: Yeah, I really enjoyed this film. Was a thoroughly original experience in the cinema for me.


    MADHERO: Its probably less goopy too. I've been meaning to check it out for a while but I don't think it ever streamed here


    STICKMAN: If you replace goop with lots of gore, then it's not so different in that department.


    MADHERO: O neat. Hard trade off but I can deal.


    STICKMAN: Yeah. It also features the coolest entrance to an underground house in any movie ever.


    LARRY: Yeah the action scenes in this film are just phenomenal. The way the camera robotically follows him? UGH, it's incredible.


    STICKMAN: Apparently they used facial tracking software to stablise the moving camera to make that effect, or SOME KINDA WITCHCRAFT.


    MADHERO: I'll see it whenever I get the chance. But I did see something else I guess


    STICKMAN: What's that, something SHIT I BET. HOOOOOOO I SAID IT TO YOU THIS TIME. SUBVERSION.


    LARRY: what a TWIST


    So this week, we've seen social media's conciousness all come together and remember the Fyre Festival disaster. If you weren't there back in 2017, boy do I feel bad, cause it was a pretty great antidote for all the horrors that 2016 brought. A music festival that promised to be the next Coachella in the Bahama's, with rich influencers all paying to go, only for it to turn into a Lord of the Flies style disaster featuring leaky tents and low rent sandwiches. It was a pretty good time if you weren't there, and now you have not one but TWO documentaries talking about this mess, one on Hulu and the other on Netflix. Since Hulu is not a thing here, I'll just talk about the latter.


    Fyre: The Greatest Party that Never Happened gives a great look at what would become a slow motion trainwreck, and while its easy to go in with the intention of schadenfreude, the doc also excels at talking with the people all roped into the scam, as well as the people who weren't overly entitled influencers: just kids who wanted to have a good time in the Bahamas. I'm so fucking glad Billy McFarland is going to jail now for operating this life-ruining mess. So yeah, its a great sneak peek at a slow motion train crash


    STICKMAN: Oh heeyy, I meant to watch this but I started The Punisher instead.


    LARRY: I wanna watch it so baddddddd. This, not really Punisher.


    MADHERO: This is a fascinating look at the slowmotion train crash. Can't speak for the Hulu one though that did score a interview with McFarland right before he went to prison


    STICKMAN: Is it as wild a ride as it should be?


    LARRY: Apparently the Hulu one is better, so they say.


    STICKMAN: So Hulu says. More like WHOlu? We...we don't get that streaming service over here.


    MADHERO: It goes wiiiiiiiiild in the 2nd half but also in a way that makes you really mad at how these people were exploited. There's currently a GoFundMe going on for the main caterer, who wasn't paid for the large amount of work she had to do.


    STICKMAN: Feed her up some money.


    LARRY: Go support people in deserve of support ya supporters.


    STICKMAN: So, when's the Dashcon documentary. Ballpit of Despair: The Dashcon Story.


    MADHERO: I need to know the ballpit's story.


    STICKMAN: Coming soon to Netflix, or Hulu, or both.


    -----------

    MADHERO: Alright, I think that about does for this week. I guess we can go rebuild the wreckage now, maybe with some LEGO blocks or something


    STICKMAN: Oh boy oh boy. The Bionicle Movie.


    LARRY: THE HOTLY AWAITED RETURN OF THE BIONICLEEEE


    MADHERO: You joke but I truly want their return. It'd make me the happiest boy on earth. But this movie should suffice. Well, byebye


    STICKMAN: If Bionicle turned up properly in the new movie I'd scream. Anyway. I'll do that next week. For now....GOODBYYYYYEEE.


    LARRY: BUH BYEEE